{Comfy} and [Darling]

Saturday Double Header: Molested on the Phone

2011-08-28T07:28:00.003-04:00

Yesterday morning darling and I slept in. When he finally woke up, I grabbed him and pulled him on top of me. He wanted to go to the bathroom but i got inpatient. I yanked him back into bed and told him to get naked. He took his robe off but left his boxers on. I pulled them down. "I said naked."
"Pushy pushy"
"I know I am."
"but I have to pee."
"Well go pee and then come right back."
I poked him with my foot til he got out of bed.
When he came back it was time for sex and I wasn't having any more stallling about it. The details of the escapade were a bit fuzzy since it was early in the morning.

Later that night, I got a call from Bella. We were gabbing away about girlie things and her new vibrator and wedding plans of mine. I think Darling got jealous that he wasn't the center of my attention any more. He began to molest me relentlessly, trying to make me horny enough to hang up. I kept right on talking. He had his hand up my shirt for a while, playing with my nipples.
I enjoyed it so I took off my shirt and bra but kept talking to Bella. About the time she started discussing cakes she was planning to bake for her boyfriend's upcoming birthday, Darling was unbuttoning my pants.

I got the rest of the way undressed and he started to finger me and caress my clit. Now it had become a game. Could I stay in a normal tone of voice and hold my own end of a conversation about cakes during sex?

He was grinning wickedly. He could tell he'd be getting his own way soon. Thankfully she needed to hang up before he actually got around to fucking me. I don't think i could have kept composure through that! He decided it was my turn on top since he got his turn that morning. I fucked him slowly and made him wait just on the edge of orgasm for a little while. I figured it was fair since he'd just tormented me for about 15 or 20 minutes. I'd never let it be said that I'm not fair. lol.

I could feel his whole body breaking out into a sweat just waiting for me to let him cum. Finally I gave in, holding him close and kissing him as I rode him. As I got up to get cleaned up, I mentioned in amazement that it had been years since we had sex twice in a single day and how I enjoyed my turn on top. He said something to the effect of him planning it that way so I wouldn't have to wash sheets a second time in one day so close to bed time. I teased him, "How romantic you are!"
"I wasn't trying to be romantic, just considerate."
"oh well in that case..." I laughed. we cleaned up and snuggled into our brand new and now twice broken in bed. I slept the best I had since he moved in.

wondering where I've been?

2011-08-10T15:16:00.000-04:00

You may have wondered where I've been since re-opening this blog. Well I'm back with big news and a good excuse. I'm the only one left in my house and I'm left clearing out 25 years with of junk. Why go to the bother? Because Darling is moving in this week (FINALLY) and we're ...

(drumroll please)

... getting married soon. I can't tell you how excited I am. We're still in the early planning phase of things but neither of us can sleep anymore. We're going today to buy our first bed and hopefully it will be delivered so that he can move in and sleep over the weekend.

We've been sort of engaged since high school but only now does it seem clear and official to me. I'm not sure I wanna announce a date here for the wedding because we may use a website for our families to see about the wedding and I don't want people to be able to cross check the two sites and figure out who we are. Suffice to say that it will be happening this winter.

Smell-o-vision

2011-04-27T20:26:00.003-04:00

I wish blogger had a way to let you all smell things 'cause as usual I smell amazing... I've been trying several perfumes and body sprays and all those girly things over the last few years, without ever finding one that was just perfect. Nothing has ever had just that perfect sexy smell without smelling like someone's urinated on me to mark me as their property. I've narrowed it down to three so far but it does seem that the common scents in all the ones I really like are spicy florals and sandalwood. Who knew? I thought that was just for hippie incense.

I spent my college years smelling like fruit, usually Victoria's Secret brand "Love Spell". Turns out most college girls smell like that, and most college guys really like it or pretend to. Darling didn't like it much at all. I still pull it out of the drawer when I'm feeling like wearing pigtails and skimpy clothes but these days I'm far more likely to be seen in a flowing long cotton skirt and some kind of breezy loose peasant blouse. Darling's mother calls it a "bohemian" look. I don't call it anything except clothes but that woman seems to think I'm a fashionista so I'll take her word for it.

There's also a lot of fruits and vanilla in what I wear too. I'm not much a fan of the vanilla but darling seems to just adore it. When I smell like vanilla he practically attacks me with kisses and buries his face in my chest (where I usually tend to spray perfume). I absolutely cannot stand the smell of the vanilla brown sugar body stuff but I almost always get laid without fail when I wear it. I guess I can stink a little for the purpose of getting laid, right?

Adornments and Apprehensions

2011-04-19T16:37:00.008-04:00

I have this beautiful necklace that my darling bought me for our 9th anniversary. Every time I wear it, I am complimented and even nearly molested by complete strangers who just want a closer look. If it weren't so unique, I'd post a picture of it here. It's so completely suits me and my tastes. It makes me feel so loved every time I wear it. Just the act of putting it on feels like getting a hug from him. I feel like I've been adorned as a goddess with flowers by the natives or something. It's really awesome. I hope this is how wearing a wedding ring will feel--special and utterly loved, chosen, adored, totally understood in every possible way, memorized inside and out. It makes me feel like I'm with him when I'm still so very far away.

Soon we can start a life together. A recently-promised large gift from my family will make that happen much sooner and in a more comfortable way. I'll get to keep much of the nest egg I've been saving for the last year instead of spending it all on something I'll need before I move out. This feels good. It's a load off of my mind. I've spent nearly a decade waiting for this moment in my life and it's finally arriving. The excitement keeps me awake at night sometimes. I feel like I used to right before leaving for vacations as a child but this is so much bigger. I know it's still a long way off. We've got no formal plans for a wedding yet since darling first must find a local job but the idea that it could be a year or less away is such a blinding light at the end of the tunnel. The open-ended-ness of the situation always made things seem bleak and as though I'd never get to be with him. Now I've got a renewed zeal that's been missing from my life since I was a teenager.

It does feel like I'm rushing into things all of a sudden, but after waiting so long, who wouldn't? I just need to remember that in my haste I must still be prudent and put wise decisions before immediate happiness as I've always done. If I fail in that, not only will my long-term happiness suffer, but I'll have forsaken an essential part of who I am. Patience is a virtue, with which I seldom struggle, but in this particular case, I find I'm in short supply. I vacillate between feeling a great hurry to find a home and finalize nuptial plans and feeling absolutely insane about that great hurry. I call it the psycho girlfriend syndrome. We all know someone who planned her wedding before she had a boyfriend or who goads every man she ever meets to commit to her immediately. She proclaims hourly the chimes and ticking of her "biological clock". I don't want to be that woman. I'm in no hurry to start a family and I know that being married will likely cause more issues than it solves.

The real hurry is to start my life with darling by my side. Waiting for that is like waiting to exhale underwater-- I'm always feeling like my lungs are aching and yet I don't wanna let out what might be the last bubble in my lungs. I don't know how much longer things will take and I don't want to run out of air until I'm sure I can surface. Darling isn't going anywhere, yet I worry I have squandered the last of my youth waiting to be with him. The waiting is such a great investment in the future that I at times totally neglect the present. If I wanted to enjoy my teens and 20's to the fullest, I should have left him years ago and found the joy of single life in college. Instead I invested in joy for my 30's and later by staying true to the one I loved more than even myself. I know it's worth it but sometimes I worry about needless things. Just one more reason I feel so completely insane right now.

Bunnies

2011-04-17T20:09:00.007-04:00

Darling and I have been discussing plans to get a place together and plan a wedding lately. I've been looking at rings a lot since I don't have a clue what kind of ring to get him or further more what kind I should drop hints for from him. Well I needed a break from that and decided to visit my favorite guilty pleasure blog, cuteoverload.

I decided shortly later that I need a pet rabbit. Darling says he'll get me one for Easter next year.

I told him to steal me this one. I want her!

staying in

2011-04-17T19:38:00.003-04:00

Darling was here with me last night. It was one of those chilly rainy windy days that make you wanna stay in and be lazy under blankets. We were cuddling on my bed with my head in his lap when all of a sudden that mischievous streak of mine kicked in. I decided I needed his pants unzipped and his cock in my mouth. I got up and got undressed and wondered if he'd get the hint. As usual, he just shrugged and figured I was being my nudist self.

I rested my face against his thigh and he thought I kissed it. I teased him that if he couldn't tell the difference it was time to get his pants off so he could tell. I got them off of him after a bit of a struggle. Eventually I got him naked under the blankets with me. I just about immediately started teasing him. It was like undressing a cranky child who happens to be much bigger than me. Once his clothes were off and I was cuddled against his bare skin, he seemed happier.

I gently ran my fingers over his cock while he molested my breasts. They were sore though, so I distracted him with slightly more touch. Just like a charm, his hands forgot all about my breasts and he kept mostly still for me. I teased him some more with feather light caresses and his fingers found their way to my pussy. I concentrated hard on staying quiet. I didn't want him to focus on me cause I was having way more fun playing with him. I wasn't so much in the mood to be touched right then.

Well it seemed he was playing the same game with me, and working hard to stay equally quiet. Naturally I had to put an end to that! I gradually touched him more and then with a little more pressure by the second. By the time I was half way to the pace of a usual hand-job, he was writhing. I must say that turned me on. I decided I needed to hear him moan a little though.

I scooted down the bed so I could get my lips in on the action. I went back and forth between very very gently sucking him and stroking him hard and fast with my saliva as a lubricant. I heard a few quiet little half-moans. That wasn't going to satisfy me though.

I wrapped my fingers very tightly around his cock and slowly slid them down his cock until the head just barely popped through and into my waiting mouth. I slid my lips and hands further and further down until I was cupping his balls in my palm. I pulled away and did it again even slower. That got him making some lovely noises for me. I was pleased. I figured he deserved inside my pussy for all that torture.

I crawled on top of him and slid him inside me. The look of relief on his face was obvious. He sighed deeply into my ear. ...

Later on he played with me until I couldn't stand it anymore and had to take over for myself.

Last Friday

2011-04-13T19:53:00.002-04:00

So last weekend my darling came over to visit me. A few days before he came over, we had spent the whole evening online in a sexy game of truth or dare like we used to do in the old days as teenagers. Then it all culminated in a mutual masturbation session via skype. We went to bed and continued the phone sex for maybe another hour or so.

By the time he actually got here, we'd had a few days to brood over our libidos. I answered the door in a short, vanilla colored, satin slip with an open sweater over it and I thought his eyes might pop out of his head. He immediately began kissing me, feeling me all over, and poking me with his hard-on. I'd just shaved so I swear anything would have made me wet, but this was so much better than that.

In a bit of a frenzy we ended up in my bed with him touching me all over. He just ran his hands all over my body, feeling every inch of me and getting me all excited. I love it when he does that. I feel like a piece of the most exquisite art or a goddess being fawned over and studied with adoration. He snuggled in against me, still fully dressed and started to concentrate on my bare pussy.

At first he just lingered over my thighs and lips, enjoying their softness and smoothness. Then my wetness got his attention and his finger found my clit in a big hurry. He kissed me and mouthed my nipples through the satin as he massaged my pussy. I don't know how long it really was, but when that part was over, I was screaming and could barely move from exhaustion. All of a sudden I realized he was naked and remembered that delicious cock waiting to be kissed.

"Can I suck you now?"

"I'm not done with you."

"Can't I please suck your dick? I wanna."

He knelt over my face, pinning me down at the shoulders with his thighs and let me gobble his cock down my throat. He wound his fingers in my hair. He pulled my hand up to his cock so I could make up for what didn't fit down my throat. He pulled away before he collapsed and choked me to death. By this point I was so desperate I'd have done anything to get him to fuck me.

He wanted to make me cum again first, so he laid down on his back and I knelt over him to suck his dick while he fingered me. I kept gasping for air and screaming. My screams were muffled and funny sounding as he slid in and out of my throat, intermittently blocking the air. I was afraid I might accidentally bite him in the throws of my body clenching orgasms.

Somehow he ended up on top of me, sliding himself inside me while I gasped and tried my damnedest to keep still. Then he pulled away. "Don't stop, honey."

"Don't you want to suck me some more?"

"Well... I... I don't want you to stop."

"Come on, taste yourself on me. It always gets you going so much harder."

Before I could reply he was kneeling over my face, pinning me down again with his cock in my face. What else was I supposed to do but suck on it?

I don't remember what came next but I remember being on top of him, riding him until he came for me. His whole body thrashed and would have thrown me to the floor if I hadn't been ready. I cradled his head to pad it from striking the wall. I gently brushed hair out of his eyes and kissed him as I rode him to ecstasy. When he came, I held him tightly until he could lay still. Then when I got up, I got a warm washcloth and cleaned him up gently. I was afraid I'd hurt him but he said it felt "really good." His cock was so red and looked so tender. I very very gently kissed it. He pushed my face away in a hurry and flopped back down on the bed.

After the sex came snuggles, half a nap, and lots of back rubs. Then we got up and made dinner.

comfy on the couch

2011-04-02T19:12:00.001-04:00

Nerdy Kids Cooking Soup

2011-03-31T21:15:00.003-04:00

Darling and I are on the phone. Each of us cooking a very late dinner 80 miles apart. Our conversation turns to the following:

Comfy: What on earth was U substitution and why was I ever supposed to use it?

.....

The function F of u is funny.

Darling: No, Integral of e to the x is the function of u to the n.

... so is Beta Mu times the integral of e to the x

Comfy: No it's NOT and you of all people should agree with me!!

Darling: Well it's f of u to the n minus the natural number... FUN -e!

Comfy: Ok well it's funny but definitely not fun. I get the feeling I should be blogging this but I'm cooking soup. All the more reason I should blog this.

If you're not up on the calculus jokes, we're arguing that butt sex is funny but not necessarily fun, while sex is always fun.

We totally belong with each other. Nobody else would have either of us at this point. LOL.

Five minutes before all this we were discussing my possession of disposable underwear and possible uses and ways I might have mysteriously come into said possession.

Housework...

2011-03-27T19:59:00.002-04:00

Cleaning house... or mostly if I tell the truth, dancing around the house in my underwear... I'm such a goof ball.

Spring Break

2011-03-26T19:34:00.003-04:00

The third night my darling was home for spring break, he came over again and we had dinner. Then we sat down to watch something on Netflix. It was the most boring thing I've ever watched. I decided I'd show him I was bored by crawling onto his lap and making out with him like we used to do as teenagers. Things were just beginning to get really heated when I heard a car horn honk. I ignored it. By the time I was soaking through my panties the horn kept honking. He realized I was unlocking and relocking his car while grinding my hips against his keys in his pocket. OOPS!

We had a giggle and then ran back to the bedroom for some sex. I'd have rather stayed out in the living room just for some variety but the couch hasn't so convenient for either of us every time we've tried. As I was running back to the bedroom, I was disrobing and leaving my clothes about the house. First my shirt, then my bra... I nearly fell over as I tried to pull off my jeans while running. We had another good laugh at that too. After all that laughter, we didn't much bother with foreplay. I let him have the top this time, but I don't remember much more than that. It was very hot, like the extremely horny teenage sex we used to have. I banged my head or something in the middle of it and didn't notice until it was all over. Then I had a nice migraine.

Anybody Craving Big Red?

2011-03-22T22:05:00.002-04:00

I used to fantasize about busty redheads in nothing but pink panties. Now I am a redhead who wears pink panties (sometimes). One step closer to being my own alter ego.

Mundane Musings

2011-03-22T21:17:00.003-04:00

Back to the good stuff when I'm in more a mood to reminisce instead of being super lonely...

Loving me some good music these days. The way I see it in my demented mind, on the radio we've got: 2 good songs about wedding proposals, a song about alien sex and rape fantasy, a song about how it's ok to be gay, and a song about S&M that actually isn't a good song at all. GO figure! Bonus points to anybody who figures out what I'm talking about without having to check the billboard top 40 charts.

In other news, since my brother came to visit for the weekend I've got a house that smells like MAN... and not in the good way. He uses AXE body spray and the living room and spare room reek of it. Men should not smell like things that give me choking fits and allergic reactions.

My room on the other hand still smells very faintly of man in the good way. *wink* Mostly just the sheets...

I've held a few jobs since last blogging. This one feels right. I really like what I do. I taught for a little while during grad school, quit/failed/got fired/didn't finish that. I got a part time job right away and stayed there til I found this one. I was great at it, but it tore my body up and didn't pay well. Now the hardest thing I do in the course of a day is the housework when I get home.

I realized that I needn't feel ashamed about my dancing ability. No I can't follow choreography but I wouldn't embarrass myself at a club. All the things that look so silly to me in the mirror are exactly what everybody else is doing, and they look just as funny. Also I learned how to strip during the teaching program... funny how that works... now I know why I'm not a teacher. I got approval and several giggles from a friend (from the same program) whose father owns a gentlemen's club. He wasn't interested in seeing any more come off than the coat, sweater, and scarf. His loss. Darling's gain.

Also, I'm a ginger now. I'm ready to make my blogging come-back and give you all ginger-vitis.

Great Week

2011-03-21T20:44:00.003-04:00

This week darling was home for spring break. He just left yesterday. I got to see him every single day. It was awesome. The first day he was home I went over to his parents' house to see him so he could spend time with them too. The second day he came over to see me at my house. We pretty much don't get any time alone when we're with his family. When we're at my house, nobody else lives here so we've got total privacy. I think that's about the only reason I like living here alone. For every other reason I can think of, it totally sucks.

I was so desperate to get some time alone with him. Five weeks separated is too long. I needed some time to just cuddle naked in bed with him. That's how we bond. If you've ever heard of the "five love languages" we definitely both need touch to feel loved. I think sometimes I need it more than he does, or perhaps I just give it more readily than he does so he never has to do without when I'm around.

That whole night we cuddled in my bed and most of the time we were naked. I think we were in bed at 6 or 7 in the evening and stayed there until just before 10 when he left to go back to his family so I could sleep. My job gets me out of bed at 6:30 every day. We did eventually have sex, but honestly it was pretty seamlessly integrated with the rest of the snuggling and I don't have a vivid memory of it. I just needed to be in his arms and relaxing. I was just so relieved once I got that. I think he was too.

...More about the week to follow in another post. It's nearly bed time for me.

Senses

2011-03-11T07:51:00.004-05:00

I woke this morning and you weren't there, unfortunately that's normal but always heart-breaking. I'm craving your touch. I just want my arms around you, to let my hands wander over your skin. I need to feel your lips on me anywhere, to bury my face in your chest and neck and smother myself in the smell of your skin. My skin needs to know how much you missed me too-- to be lit up like sparks are shooting across it from your fingers. I need a reason to blush from my face down to my chest. I don't want to take another breath that doesn't smell of you. I need to feel our fingers curled in each other's hair and the heat of your breath on my face.

I'm back!

2011-03-10T18:54:00.001-05:00

Well, Ladies and Gents, It seems I'm back. A series of recent events have lead me back home from my wandering days to begin blogging here again. A lot has changed since I closed this blog two Summers ago. I'm a grown up woman now and have lost some of my girlish looks and coquettish behavior. I'm 24 and lovin' it.

I've been working full time now for 10 months and am no longer interested in teaching. When it's time to go back to school, and I know that time will come eventually, I'm thinking it'll be time for a phD. Darling now has a master's degree and is working on finding a job near me so we can get married soon.

I'm fully embracing my bisexuality as a fact of life that I shall hide from no one except my grandparents and mother. Not that I've had the opportunity to date anyone else yet. Bella and I remain friends. She'll be a bridesmaid for me when Darling and I get married but I've seen her very little since leaving campus for the real world. I came out to my brother, to which he shrugged and said, "I wondered but really just don't give a damn." Sometimes he's pretty cool.

I'm still sexy as hell but with darling away at grad school until lately and no campus cuties around, I've been largely in a dry spell for the last year. I tried to return to blogging on another site but it just wasn't the same, especially when I wasn't getting laid.

GW is back in the saddle again so to speak and it got me rummaging around old posts looking for goodies and fun reminders of the old days.

I went through the entire archive again last night and any pictures that captured my face are now removed but I've decided to let the rest of this place stay as it stands. I haven't decided yet whether it's time for a new direction around here. I guess I'll see where my creative urges take me.

Darling and I should be celebrating a belated 9 year anniversary as well as his thesis defense this weekend, so I'm sure there will be good times in store.

Sorry I was gone so long. I miss you guys!

Birthday Stuff

2009-10-12T17:20:00.002-04:00

I called Bella today to ask if she got my school work related voice mail last night. She surprised me by saying she wanted me to come over to her and Bear's apartment to make me a cake and watch movies while we did homework and lesson planned together. I told her that sounded like the best birthday I could have. She of course didn't think it was enough. She doesn't realize quite how much I love her.

I told darling, "Thank you for loving and trusting me enough to let me fall in love twice. I honestly love you twice as much as I did before."

Anyhow I got myself all showered, shaved, smelling nice, and dressed pretty to go over there. I'll wear my come fuck me boots too. I know nothing's gonna happen but I still wanna look nice anyway. I'm in love... that's what people in love do.

dream e-mail

2009-10-12T17:16:00.002-04:00

In an e-mail to darling Saturday morning

I woke up this morning from an incredible dream and had to get myself off.

I came home from classes at night with Bella. I went home with her and decided I'd give her a backrub to make her feel better. She took her bra off and laid down still dressed on the couch. I massaged her whole body gently. I kneaded her breasts and feet and arms. I sat down with her head in my lap and massaged her face and neck and played with her hair until she nearly fell asleep. Then she rolled over and I massaged the whole back of her body. Just then you called me to tell me you were coming home for a surprise visit. The phone woke Bella up. She looked so sweet and happy looking up at me from my lap. She asked if you would come to her place so I could stay. She wasn't done getting pampered I guess. She rolled over and half sat up with her back against my chest. I wrapped my arms and legs around her while she gave you directions on the phone. When she hung up she grabbed my arm to her face and kissed it. Then she fell back asleep. I leaned back on the arm of the couch and fell asleep too with her warmth on top of me. Bear came home right about when you showed up. I woke up first to see the two of you eating nachos and watching hockey and occasionally glancing over at your pile of girlfriends during commercials. I'm not really sure how things went from there but we ended up in a foursome. It was awesome but all a blur. The one thing I do remember was you and I kissing Bella's neck and face while you were feeling me up and she was leaning back on us and Bear ate her out. As soon as she came, my lips were off of her and on your cock. She was fucking Bear while feeling me up while I was sucking you. When you and Bear finally came, we all snuggled up on a blankets and pillows on the floor and you kissed my neck and felt me up until I came with your arms around me and Bella in my arms.

Just thought that e-mail might start your day off with a smile too.

Love you,

Comfy

What I've Been Up To

2009-09-14T20:56:00.002-04:00

I haven't written because I'm super busy and there's been no sex. What there has been, however, has been another romance.

I've fallen totally and hopelessly in love with one of my fellow teaching interns, from now on I think I'll call her Bella. I felt creepy for falling so hard in less than 12 weeks since meeting her but I already envision myself having babies with her and living peacefully til old age. I'm slowly finding out that she feels pretty much the same way except that she is planning to marry the boyfriend that she lives with about the time I plan to marry darling. I'll call this boyfriend of hers Bear, as that's what she calls him. Bella has told Bear that she wants to raise a family with me (and him and Darling but somehow those two seemed secondary at the moment to her).

One day a few weeks ago, I saw her at the bus stop. I decided to sneak up on her since I always wait for the bus with her. She was nearly in tears on the phone with Bear. I heard her say, "I miss my buddy!" I knew she meant me. I tapped her and she was so excited to see me, she nearly hung up on Bear. She invited me back to her apartment and gave me ice cream cake. That woman knows my weakness! I knew she really liked me, but I thought it ended there. I was disappointed.

Last night, Bella called to dish about who we thought was cute in our classes. We agreed on the hotness of the physics guys, simply because they ARE physics guys. She's also in love with the archetype of the absentminded genius/ scientist. I couldn't bear it anymore and had to tell her that I would have asked her out weeks ago if she'd been single. She took it as a compliment. It had been eating me alive not to tell her and I was afraid she didn't love me back so it was unrequited love. I'd moped about and been melancholy for weeks.

Darling has been amazing about cuddling me and comforting me even though my problem would be enough to make most other men leave me in jealousy. He's completely ok with it and I think he was rather sad for me.

Today Bella had a little crisis with a possible allergic reaction and a trip to the hospital. Bear wouldn't take her, knowing she was being a big baby. She called me and asked me to stay on the phone with her and talk her through the bus ride to the campus health center. I did. I knew she wouldn't call any of her other friends if she hadn't gotten me to do it. This was clearly a significant other or parent type of task. I showed up with coffee exactly the way she takes it and biscotti. (Like most of my crushes, my Bella is Italian.) I held ice on her hand in the waiting room and calmed her down while she called her mom.

Since this afternoon she has decided it's ok for me to call her "wife" and "girlfriend" in public. She's decided to call me "husband" instead of the previous title of "buddy" I had earned before.

I'm walking on clouds now. She really feels about me the way I feel about her. The fact that we're both going to marry someone else doesn't seem to matter. I don't get the vibe that there will ever (or at least in the near future) be anything more than a deep platonic relationship between the two of us since she is straight and doesn't seem to be interested in polyamory. I'm completely ok with that. I just needed to know she loved me.

Spaceballs: The Sex

2009-08-10T23:04:00.003-04:00

He showed up at my house, it was hot and I was wearing a barely useful dress. We made homemade popcorn and watched Spaceballs: The Movie. Afterwards, we went back to my bedroom and made very sweet love. He leaned back and I pulled his pants open. "In a hurry?"

"I gotta do it while it's easy to reach."

We kissed and hugged a while and then I noticed my dress was all the way undone and open. I got him undressed too and we crawled into bed. He kissed hungrily at my neck and shoulders, making me squeal and moan. He fingered me until I was juicy and so breathless I couldn't speak when I wanted to. I begged him sweetly to let me suck his cock before he went inside me. He finally gave in and I'm sure was glad he did. I managed to deepthroat him and his gasps and moans were my reward for a task well done. I felt his fingers subconsciously winding themselves in my hair and when I pulled him out of my mouth to breathe, I felt a rather insistent hand on the back of my head. He wanted back in and wasn't making any subtleties about it. I did it again and soon I felt a hand pulling me up to kiss him. As I crawled up to kiss him, I slid his cock inside me as deeply as I could. He felt HUGE. I wasn't ready for him but I kept fucking him as deeply as possible. He got so into it, he sucked my tongue into his mouth and sucked it so hard it hurt me. He got carried away. When I sensed he was getting close to orgasm, he started telling me he wouldn't last much longer. I kept fucking him deeply, and begged him to cum for me. I stayed in that uncomfortable position probably 10 minutes while he drifted between staring lovingly into my eyes and nearly falling asleep. I told him it was ok to close his eyes, that I'd be right there when he opened them again. He seemed reassured each time he opened his eyes to find me in exactly the same spot as when he closed them. Eventually the pain mounted and my pussy ached so badly I had to move. I got cleaned up and cleaned him up with a washcloth, only to find blood in our juices. I'd fucked him too deeply before I was ready to take him in. It's not the first time it's happened and it's not likely to be the last. We cuddled the rest of the night until it was time to eat again. I felt satisfied I'd taken the best care of him I could tonight.

Most Romantic Night

2009-08-05T22:50:00.000-04:00

I went over to darling's house, his family was away on vacation. I hadn't seen him in a week or so. I got dressed up in stockings, garters, heels, pearls, pinstriped skirt, white silk blouse, and a black full slip and bra. The heels came off at the door, the blouse came off during a snuggle. In trying to interest him in getting those clothes off of me we tackled each other with kisses. The couch wasn't the best place for that, so we headed back to his bed. I got rid of the skirt and he got mostly undressed. He suggested I take off the bra too. We had a wonderful bout of sex with my slip and stockings still on. I felt extremely sexy. After cooling down a bit, we went for round two. In the heat of the moment he pulled my slip off of me so he could feel my skin against him. After a very long snuggle, we got up and had ice cream. We watched Bill Nye's "Stuff Happens" "In the Bedroom" episode followed by the "In the closet" episode. He made himself a plate of food and we snuggled while he ate. Around midnight I left. He walked me to my car in the light of the full moon. It was bright but the air was full of a cloud-like rolling fog and a dreamy mist. It seemed like the perfect ending to such a romantic night. He kissed me goodnight in the mist and I drove off.

Still blogging, not public

2009-07-11T21:52:00.003-04:00

Darling came over to see me in my new apartment. In short time he was kissing me passionately and making me horny. I sucked his dick for a while and we played with each other until I couldn't stand it anymore. He fucked me slowly. It was exactly what we both needed. The love in the air at the moment was almost tangible. Everything seemed to slow down. I felt overwhelmed with love and released all the stress of the last week immediately.
After we were finished we got in the shower together and washed off. He was sweaty from sex and I was horribly sweaty from the walk back to the apartment and then sex. We made dinner together and ate in. We made a quick run across the street for cookies and then after a walk, he drove home.

Had to post this

2009-07-10T17:47:00.003-04:00

sitting in my apartment eating the cutest little pickles ever! Remember, kids, small penis jokes are not kind! lol!

return of the GPQ

2009-07-01T09:11:00.005-04:00

Last night I told darling that I was excited to see him this weekend. I really want to spend every minute from Friday to Sunday right in his face because I miss him so much. Realistically, I know it won't happen because I'll have work to do and he'll want to spend time with his brother who is coming home on his twice a year visit. I realize where our priorities should be.

He actually thanked me for being rational! WHAT! You have to thank me for being rational?! That's pathetic and doesn't speak well for my sanity's track record.

He goes on to say that common sense is a mostly male trait. I ask if he's calling me a man. He says maybe. I laughed and told him that if I'm a man that makes him gay, and that we both know how I feel about gay people... that they're ok by me!

In all reality, I do plenty of irritating feminine things but I'm sort of ashamed of myself for doing them. I strive to be a vary reasonable person who listens to logic but sometimes I fail. When darling does something irrational on the rare occasion or often does something very feminine, he makes no apologies for it. I guess I don't have to either.
I'm into chicks and my best friend is a man. I've got a roving eye that I just can't seem to tame. I hate celebrities and I rarely think sex symbols are all that great. I love science and I joke about farts. I think gay men are smart because they get all they want in life with none of the hassling women cause. I masturbate constantly and I love sex. I also love food, lots of it. I'm a couch potato and when I watch TV I zone out of the world.

I suppose darling is pretty lucky.
He gets many of the benefits of being gay and none of the problems or unwanted butt sex.

So guys, I ask you: What is one thing women could stop doing that would make them perfect?

busy bj

2009-06-28T17:33:00.002-04:00

So busy lately.
Saw darling last night. Tried to get work done while he was over but my family saw to it that I got nothing done.
I gave darling a BJ and he gave me quite a hickey. It wasn't the best BJ I ever gave, kind of vanilla and boring. No teasing and no tricks up my sleeve.

Somehow I don't think he minded, maybe it was all the cum in my mouth that cued me in. I'll give him a really good one when we have a whole evening to ourselves again. I promise.

Love and Childhood Memories

2009-06-25T20:37:00.004-04:00

I was thinking last night about my very early years. I thought that I'd had 3 great loves in my life.

My brother was born when I was 2. He's my first memory, and will always be the first love of my life. He's been a playmate, a twin, a shoulder to cry on in times of family crisis, my child, and now my friend.

Science was my next love. From early on I devoured every book within my literacy level in order to satisfy my ravenous lust for the subject. I crushed on Bill Nye and learned early that geeks were sexy.

Then I met my darling. I feel rapturously in love with him soon after laying eyes on him and my feelings have never changed. I owe him quite literally my life and so much more after that. He saved me from killing myself at age 16 and from the time I turned 18 he has helped me to understand both my religious faith and my seemingly incongruous bisexuality.

That thought lead me to ponder my early childhood further. I remember no childlike infatuations before kindergarten and my first several were with other little girls. Fair-haired and lithe, they fascinated me. I wasn't like them but they were beautiful. I worshiped the girl who was to become the most popular in the class. I even took up ballet as a clumsy awkward string-bean of a girl in order to get her to like me. I was confused and heartbroken when she didn't return my affections.
Then in first grade, I met the girl who I now recognize as my first and only childhood sweetheart. We loved each other dearly from that year until 9th grade when I fell in love with darling instead. Our love was mostly platonic outwardly, but I wanted her for my life companion at the time. She was the first person I came out to, even before darling who was my rightful boyfriend. Only on one occasion in all of our years together did she and I engage in any remotely sexual activity. One time I taught her to masturbate. I wrote about this experience previously.
We grew apart when I fell in love with darling, though I still think of her as my oldest friend. She's never far if I feel the need to call her, though we rarely speak these days. She's found someone I believe she may marry soon and I wish her all the blessings she deserves.

Questions from Rosa

2009-06-24T07:56:00.002-04:00

GW put this on her blog so I decided to do one too.

What’s your occupation right now?

Recent college graduate, now graduate student and soon to be teaching intern

What color are your socks right now?

no socks unless I'm wearing sneakers at the gym and then it's boring white cotton

What are you listening to right now?

a ton of David Choi's music, (It's free and he's funny go check him out)

Can you drive a stick shift?

*giggle* Yes I can fuck a man! ... oh cars... no, I never tried to drive manual transmission.

Last person you spoke to on the phone?

Darling. I call him every night when we go to bed and talk til one of us feels ready for sleep.

Do you like the person who sent this to you?

GW? Hmm... I'll have to think about that one... Of course I do!

How old are you today?

What’s your favorite sport to watch on tv?

Don't watch sports as a rule. Darling loves hockey.

What is your favorite drink?

water, coffee, tea, soy milk, milk, just tried bubble tea yesterday

Have you ever dyed your hair?

No but I'm toying with the idea.

Favorite food?

lightly steamed snap beans, angel hair pasta with fresh veggies, ice cream, I like lots of things

What is the last movie you watched?

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. I don't recommend it unless you're in love with one of the male actors or would like to know that Disney actually made a dark semi-gory film as an indictment of capitalism. I watched it for the latter reason, but it didn't make it good.

Favorite day of the year?

any day I get to be with darling for a long time.

How do you vent anger?

I rant to darling and I write but don't publish.

What was your favorite toy as a child?

I had 3 favorites: a pink satin rabbit with glow in the dark stars all over her, a sock monkey my mom made me when I was born, and a muslin rabbit my grandmother made me while she was bed-ridden from 147 bee stings and the consequent allergic reaction.

What’s your favorite season?

I think fall, It's not scorching and as a student it feels like a fresh begining.

Cherries or blueberries?

both are good, but if I have to choose it's cherries

Living arrangements?

currently apartment sitting, moving into a one room apartment in a week or so, at home I sorta own my mother's house but not really

When was the last time you cried?

Sunday night from anger, Monday night from loneliness, last night from being deeply sorry that I don't have the time to start RCIA classes but I really wanted to.

What’s on the floor of your closet?

Tons of those reusable grocery bags in sizes ranging from small purse-ish to laundry bags

Who is the longest friend you’re sending this to?

I'm not sure if MR still reads here or not but I met her in 1st grade. If darling reads it, he's next. Otherwise I think GW.

What did you do last night?

attempted homework, e-mailed the RCIA-organizing woman, called a friend to ask for help with a key situation, whined to darling for as long as he could stand it, sweated to death

What are you most afraid of?

bugs, failure, imperfection, career threats (I take those very seriously), crazy people in this city who yell at the air, that people will judge me by my weight

Plain, cheesy, or spicy hamburger?

southwest style corn and black bean burger from morningstar farms with maybe some cheese and always ketchup.
If I feel like having meat, homemade turkey burgers seasoned like a roasted turkey with mayo and whole wheat bread, lettuce and tomato

Favorite day of the week?

Friday or Saturday, I get to go home and see my family and darling.

How many countries have you lived in?

Just the USA, but I've traveled to Canada and I nearly moved there as a little girl.

Diamonds or pearls?

Diamonds are pretty and all but they are full of guilt about the eco-friendlieness and fair-trade/ fair labor issues unless they are man-made. I like pearls. They come from mollusks. I just wish they waited until the oyster died on it's own or that it's meat didn't get wasted.

What is your favorite flower?

the little violets that grow wild, lilly of the valley, white dahlias, I HATE roses

What’s your favorite color?

Don't ask me that, I like them all. Red, I guess.

What is your favorite smell?

when a person still smells shower fresh, especially darling.

How long have you been with your partner?

7 and a half years

What is your middle name?

It's common but I don't want to reveal it.

What annoys you the most?

incompetence, rudeness, tardiness, poking me repeatedly

Most interesting holiday you’ve ever had?

if by that you mean vacation (yes I'm British, deal with it.), then I'd have to say the trips to New York with my high school chorus, that included darling.

Favorite icecream?

either coffee hard serve or this one local place makes Mexican chocolate it's got so much cinnamon the ice cream is slightly abrasive.

Tongue in Cheek

2009-06-16T22:50:00.004-04:00

Darling just left. He and I watched "Get Smart." I knew I liked the movie and he remembered liking the TV show. We laughed ourselves silly and then at the tender moment at the end when agent 99 kisses Max, he looked at me and said, "Awww!" He went to kiss me too. I let him kiss my head. I don't kiss during the sappy parts of movies, I usually fart. I guess that's years of movies at home on the couch with my little brother for ya. I didn't fart this time. It was a close call though, lol. At the credits, when "4 Minutes" came on, darling started dancing like a fat penguin.
I immediately paused the movie and scolded him for dancing to a JT and Madonna song. I have no beef with the song or the artists but he loses geeky street cred for dancing to a song that actually was popular in a genre he makes fun of on a regular basis. One, I might add, that I like. He argued that the geeky penguin dance was what made it ok. I put on a techno song and he proceeded to dance like he was punching himself in the face. I got bored with that and put on an "Irish Jig" by Flogging Molly. He danced what I guess was a jig, having never seen one before. We laughed until we both nearly fell over.

Last night we had a laugh after sex. I mentioned that my thighs were fatter than his. He thought my thighs were all muscle. I lifted my leg in the air (naked, mind you) and jiggled my fat. He said he was disgusted but he was laughing.

After 7 years this is what we boil down to? We act like two little boys when we're not having sex and sometimes even when we are. He at least attempts to be romantic. I at least attempt to stay sexy. Unfortunately, I'm not a romantic and he's not that interested in sex. So how do we stay together? The answer is simple, really. LOVE.

I love him more than anyone in the world, and I know he feels the same about me. He loves me even if I'm messy or chubby or crazy or a neat freak or a worrywort. He loves me even if I'm a bad cook. He loves me even though I'm not as geeky as he is. Why he loves me I can't really say. I just know that he does and I'm so very glad.

I think my nipples are going to fall off.

2009-06-15T23:20:00.002-04:00

Darling was trapped beneath me. I won. Well I don't think he knew it was a contest. I pulled off my silk tank top. He snapped his head forward and clamped his teeth around my nipple. He bit me savagely. It was so much pain I had to fight the word, "Stop!" from coming out of my mouth. I didn't really want him to stop because I liked it, but it's an involuntary reaction to pain I guess. I was semi transfixed. I couldn't move for fear of more pain than I could handle. When he was done gnawing my nipple off I had to check to see that it was still there and not bloody. Off came the panties. He got undressed and the sight of his half hard cock made me want to leap at him. I began sucking him as soon as I could reach but he felt a sharp close to where my mouth was. He checked himself out and felt his nuts, thinking it was them that hurt. He let me check him out and it was nothing more than a severe cramp in his groin. I patiently massaged it out for him. He apologized for killing the mood.
"I know how to fix it."
I kissed him passionately but gently.
"Oh yeah? How?"
I lowered my slit over his cock and I felt it grow hard very quickly. I moved away.
"I think you need to try that again."
I did it again and he was so hard he was poking my ass from between my legs underneath me.
I sucked him some more and then I got too worked up.
"Wanna fuck?"
"Ok!"
I rode him fairly gently until he started biting at my nipples and massaging my breasts. I nearly came, but just then he broke my concentration by announcing how close he was. My breast fell from his mouth and he strained up to kiss me. He appeared to be craving my lips and only they could release his orgasm. I held back a second, watching the need in his face. I gave in and kissed him and rode him until he came quickly.

Once I got up and cleaned myself I brought him a warm washcloth and cleaned him up too. I've spoiled him rotten I think. It's only fair I guess. He's spoiled me too.

hugs and kisses

2009-06-12T08:14:00.005-04:00

I was thinking yesterday about the different kinds of hugs, more specifically the ones I share with darling. I was caught off guard yesterday afternoon by the goodbye hug, in which I thought wasn't a goodbye situation. I was mistaken, it WAS a goodbye situation, he was heading home. I suppose for every person and every relationship the person , the goodbye hug is something different. For us, it's pretty standard.

He sits, I stand, I wrap my arms around his neck and cradle his head. He holds my arms. It's actually a rather tender and comforting hug. I'm sorry it has to always be tainted by the sometimes small and sometimes great sadness of him leaving. There's something very delicate about touching a person's face or putting your arms around their neck. They have to trust you a great deal. You could easily harm them or at the very least make them feel claustrophobic. I don't give this hug to anyone else but darling. When someone gives it to me while I'm sitting, I'm almost always uncomfortable. It tends to always be big matronly women who give me these hugs with my face pressed into their bellies. It is always either the force of the hug or the fact that my face is in their belly that bothers me. When I hug darling like this, his head is nestled between my shoulder and the top of my breast. He won't suffocate there.

Our goodbye hug is only in private. We've never done this in front of anyone. I think it feels too intimate. It's usually followed by a more public goodbye hug at the door. The more public one consists of us both standing, my face only reaches his chest. He wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. I actually don't like this hug much at all. He often has a beard that is just at the poking velcro-like stage and he kisses my head too hard and it feels like the stabbing part of velcro being pounded into my scalp. Come to think of it, he's so gentle with the rest of my body but as a rule he's too rough with my head.

IM conversation with Darling

2009-06-09T01:29:00.002-04:00

Comfy: iwy
Darling: ;)
Darling: i've founda better workaround for getting software onto an ipod, rather than jailbreaking it
Comfy: yay
Darling: i just registered as an app developer
Comfy: lol
that's really hot ...
for some reason
Darling: luckily for me, most apps that aren't being permitted onto the app store are open source
so i can download, compile, and load myself
Comfy:yay
damn i dunno why that's hot
Darling: anyways, if you're ever lookng for an app that you just can't find, and i get this thing working, i can probably pirate you something
Comfy: sweet
Darling: but really, i'm setting this up because i'm frustrated by the quality of the math/science reference card apps that are available
Comfy: damn you get hotter the more you talk
Darling: rolls eyes

legs

2009-06-09T01:26:00.002-04:00

to suck or not to suck

2009-06-08T23:41:00.003-04:00

I sat and argued with darling for about 5 full minutes about whether or not I could give him a blow job. He won. I didn't get to give him one. He's one strange man.

He has an injured neck/shoulder muscle.
I said I wasn't going to touch his neck.
He said it would tense up.
From what, I asked.
"Orgasmic pleasure."

He needs to learn to cum without wrenching his neck apparently.

He left. I got off. Hard. Without hurting MY neck. Fell asleep for 4 and a half hours. My body loves me. I'll bet his doesn't like him too much.

First uncropped image in a long time

2009-06-08T23:31:00.003-04:00

further proof that i'm just bad at taking pictures no matter how nice i look. This is the first image I've not had to crop because of crappiness or my face. Technology was kind to me tonight.

Geek Blog Crossover: Monkey Business

2009-06-08T23:27:00.002-04:00

Find the full post at the Geek blog.

"...
Mom is pretty sick with a bladder or at least urinary tract infection, and decided to stop drinking anything in order to bother the nurses with potty trips less. Now her kidneys aren't making urine. Funny how a little kindness from a nurse of her same first name and a dollar's worth of pineapple juice smacks some sense into her.
She weighed about 100 lb when we moved her there at Christmas. She now weighs as much as I do. Not a healthy gain. She's depressed and taking it out on her body. I tell grandma we need to do something for her. Grandma asks, "what are you trying to save her for?"

Why am I trying to save her??? She's my freaking mother! I know she isnt' happy. I'm not talking about prolonging her life to keep her miserable in a nursing home. I'm talking about trying to get her happy again so she wants to live a long healthy life.

Darling called me while I was with mom. I let her talk to him a bit. She loves him so much. I know he doesn't understand why. He, in reality, has done so little for her. For her, the little he's done is beyond value. He was the first regular houseguest in our home who would speak to her as a human. He didn't really know what to do with her or how to talk to her so he just treated her normal. Her second husband had just left her and she was newly wheelchair bound. He was a handsome young man who shook her hand and told her she looked nice."

Thought you might

2009-06-05T22:28:00.002-04:00

thought you might have missed them.

Short Story

2009-06-02T22:47:00.003-04:00

I wish I was wearing more under this long jacket and not really wearing the jacket. I stick out like a sore thumb in this weather. It's not raining and about 65 degrees tonight. Who'd wear a trench coat tonight if they weren't naked or semi-nude underneath? *sigh* I'm sort of glad nobody's around tonight. That normally makes me quite nervous this late but tonight I'd rather not have their stares and judgmental head-shakes. I purposely stood on this corner because of the streetlight but now I'm kind of sorry I did. I should have walked three more blocks to the next bus stop. I forgot the seedy gentleman's club was close to this stop. I'm not walking any farther than I have to in these heels. Sometimes I hate my life. Thank GOD! The bus is here. Ok Just pay and sit down. Ignore everybody. God, why does the bus always smell so bad? Where the hell is this place anyway? Can I call him? Well he didn't say not to, but that really ruins it if I have to call. Fuck it! I'm calling, these shoes are cutting my heels.

"I can't wait to see you," he says.

I think I'm gonna be a little sick. Why is it that the ones who spend the most are the oldest, grossest, and most deluded into thinking you love them? What the hell am I gonna wear tomorrow? I can't go home in this! Does he expect me to stay the whole night? Oh who am I kidding? He's already got something gorgeous for me to wear to work tomorrow, and I'll get to sleep in that enormous downey bed all by myself. He'll be up all night in the chair.
I'll never know how he finds things that fit me so well. I have to try on everything in the store when I shop. *sigh* I'm gonna be sad to see this one go. Of all the nasty old geezers, this Jim is my favorite. If I really loved him I'd be happy as a clam and set the rest of my life. No more working even! But I don't love him. It's the money talking. He's spoiled me.

Jim, you're the corniest old fogey! It's cold out here, you don't wanna get sick. HA! You let me ride the bus here at almost 12 AM in a nasty part of town and you're worried I'll get sick from being out naked?

"Jim, honey, couldn't you have sent the car for me or picked me up yourself?"

"You know I can't do that all the time."

"I know but tonight it would have made things a lot easier." *ahem*

"But how can you be in the right frame of mind to pretend you're a prostitute if you didn't have to travel here like one tonight?"

God damnit! He has a point. I hate it when he's right. I wish I wasn't pretending.

"Jim, I think this is going to be our last hurrah."
Oh God, here it comes, the surprise, the anger, the begging. I've seen it a million times.

"You're kidding."

"No, I met someone." That line again. "We're getting married." That's it, the one thing he can't offer me. I'm off the hook.

"Then move in here with him."

Here we go, now comes the anger... Wait... "What?!"

"Kay, I knew all along you were gonna move on with your life. I never envisioned that you were going to marry me or anything like that. Just don't leave me. Stay. Be my daughter. I've got all this money and not a soul left who loves me in this world. Bring him and move in with me."

Damn that's tempting! But I don't have a man, that's all a lie. "Sorry, Jim, I can't do that."

"Are you worried he'll be too jealous of an old man like me? At least let me buy your dress and pay for the wedding."

"Ok, I lied. There isn't anybody else."

"Then why are you leaving me?"

How is he so CALM?? "I gotta get out of this business. I want to have what you have but I want to earn it for myself."

"So just move in here. I'm not paying you for the sex. I give you what I do because I'm a lonely old man and you make me feel good."

"I need to think about this. Give me a week to make up my mind."

"You got a lot of guys to say goodbye to?"

"You were the last."

UH OH, he's gonna hug me isn't he.

That wasn't so bad, I guess I don't hate him that much.

"Let's sit down. We've got dinner to eat. I'll take your coat if you want."

"I don't eat naked or this late at night."

"I'll be up in about a half hour then, go on up."

4 A.M.
*Yawn, stretch, see Jim, Start to undress*

"You look beautiful. Please keep that robe on. I love it on you."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I liked watching you sleep."

"Jim, you're so creepy."

"Let me brush your hair."

"Very creepy"

"I don't care. I'm buying you a puppy."

"I hate dogs."

"Just take this then."

Hoe-lee-shit! "Where did this come from?"

"I hoped you'd like it."

"Jim, I can't take this."

"I told you it's not about the sex." *sits on the bed with the brush in his hand* "If you decide to move in, daughter, wife... It's your choice. I'd give that to either woman in my life. If you don't move in, keep it anyway to remember that someone loves you."

"I can't handle this. It's too creepy."

"It wouldn't be so creepy if you loved me."

Damn it, he's right again. "Why are you so desperate for me to love you?"

*He rolls over and lays down to sleep.*

"Let's at least have sex."

"You don't have to."

"I guess I kind of want to."

"Anything you wish."

I love how he always says that to me. Anything you wish...

Darling likes vibrators too.

2009-05-25T23:34:00.003-04:00

Darling just left. I'm sitting on the bed where we've been fucking all evening. He showed up and we made and ate a pizza. After dinner we went in my room and sat talking a while. We cuddled up for a bit and my dress went up. He saw that I wasn't wearing anything under it and tickled my pussy. Eventually we ended up naked and snuggled up in the most comfortable position ever. Then he said he'd be more comfortable with his dick inside me. It was sort of in the way and poking me in the leg so I agreed. Not that I wanted to fuck him or anything. ;)

I rubbed his back while he fucked me slowly. He looked like he was in heaven, so relaxed. Suddenly, and I really mean it was sudden, he said breathlessly, "I'm gonna cum inside you."
Later he said it surprised him. He was relaxing and then out of nowhere, he came. I think it was the back rub.
We cuddled back up again and I played with myself but couldn't get off. He played with my breasts and rubbed my back but nothing helped. Finally I asked him if I could kiss his dick. He let me but told me to be gentle. I kissed his soft, red cock gently. It was hot against my lips. I gently took him in my mouth and sucked him. He lay perfectly still, but I noticed he wasn't breathing. Afraid I was hurting him, I asked if he was enjoying himself. He said he was, and when he finally grew hard, I asked if I could fuck him. He said he wanted to fuck me again. After a minute or so I suggested we get a vibrator and hold it between us. He seemed to really enjoy it. He fucked me slowly as I held the toy on the underside of his cock. We both agreed it felt a little weird but he was definitely enjoying it. (I already have more fun ideas brewing with that in mind ;) )Eventually I wanted my turn on top. I fucked him for all I could stand, it was about 85 degrees in the room at that point and we were drenched with sweat and sticking to each other. It was ruining it for us. I got up and got a damp wash cloth and ran it over his body to cool him off and clean him up a little. He looked like a king, just enjoying the pampering. I chuckled at the thought.

By the way, this is the dress I was wearing.

Tuesday fun

2009-05-22T23:19:00.002-04:00

On Tues this week, darling came over to see me. We had a blast. We gave each other full body massages, and by the time he was finishing mine up, I was blindfolded. He got naked while I was blindfolded and relaxing and he put his cock less than an inch from my lips.

The air felt a little warm around my face. I suspected there was a body part close to my lips. I lifted my head a bit and felt something smooth, silky textured and with the consistency of rubber. I knew it had to be his cock. I started to suck him while he massaged my breast. I really wanted to look but I didn't cheat and remove the blindfold.

He pulled himself away from me and went back to massaging me. He inched his way toward my pussy but didn't touch it. He lifted one leg a little away from the other. He massaged my thighs closer and closer to my pussy. He rubbed the outer edges of my mons, parting my lips with each movement of his hands. He finally massaged my labia. I thought I'd go nuts.

I'm not really sure how that became fucking, but I know that he was on top of me and my blindfold was off. He slid inside me easily. I was soaked. After about 5 seconds, I asked him if he wanted to watch me fuck something else. He wanted to continue a bit longer.

Eventually we stopped and got the new toy. I played "amateur pornstar wannabe" for about 2 seconds as I fellated it with a goofy grin on my face before getting down to business. I slowly fucked myself with the shiny purple dildo. Darling looked interested, but I wasn't sure if he was horny or about to laugh.

He took his turn fucking me with it while I sucked him. That seemed to turn him on a lot more. When he couldn't take anymore and needed back inside me, we set the toy aside and resumed sex as normal. If you can call our sex normal.

sigh

2009-05-20T09:00:00.003-04:00

Damn spammers are real people now or at least know how to use captcha. I guess now we move to comment moderation, sorry guys and gals. Damn I hate this. Now I have to actually take charge here.
I'm laying down the rules:

No unexplained unrelated links in comments.
No sign in name can link to a site other than your profile, blog, personal webpage, twitter, facebook profile, or something similar. No linking your sign in name to a vendor or commercial website (that includes porn) unless you demonstrate clearly that you are the owner of that site.
If you're anonymous, that's fine but at least pick a letter or something for a name so I can tell you apart from other anonymous people. It's only polite since I try to answer almost all comments.
Be respectful of other people's life choices, including mine and the other commentators.
Don't try to sell me anything.
No spam or flame comments will be posted.
READ the post you are commenting on, unless there isn't any text.

Remember that some communication is better suited to instant messenger, e-mail, or twitter rather than a blog comment. I make all of that contact info available somewhere here, and I'm always glad to talk.

Google talk and e-mail: comfydildo[dot]unlaidenswallow[at]gmail[dot]com
AIM: comfyanddarling

Apparently Now...

2009-05-20T00:23:00.002-04:00

Apparently now I giggle as though I'm being tickled when I'm sexually stimulated. I'm making this face at myself right now. -_` I know a lot of women do that but I just never thought I'd be one of them. I never used to be. Somehow I should have guessed way back when I discovered that light tickling turns me on.

It's pretty confusing for darling and I'm just irritated with myself.

Giggling?!
Oh!
God Damn!

My pigtails, chubby cheeks, knee socks, P.J. fetish, and little girl pussy are bad enough. I don't need to GIGGLE through foreplay too!
*disgusted sigh*
Someday darling is gonna wake up and wonder why he hasn't found a real woman.

New Friend

2009-05-18T21:47:00.003-04:00

So my new toy came in the mail today. I opened it and put batteries in and then turned it on to make sure it worked. I haven't tried it out yet formally but I can say that the highest 3 of 6 speeds made my hands go numb from holding it. That's right, numb! I imagine that dial is gonna get mighty slippery too and it's right where I'll likely be holding it. Maybe I ought to to take the batteries out just to make sure this buzzer doesn't become a buzz-kill when I have darling over to break it in with me. Darling had been concerned it would be too small but I think I'll be happy with it either in his absence or as a warm-up. I think when he's not actually inside me he forgets that I have the pussy of an 8 year old girl. All right you pseudopedophiles, I'm off to go crochet and watch PBS on Hulu since the TV only gets one channel now, like a little old lady. Comfy's one boring chick tonight.

Red Keyhole

2009-05-12T23:24:00.003-04:00

Tonight darling wasn't sure that he wanted to come in for a bit when he dropped me off. I asked if he wanted to see my "pretty red undies". He said, "Pretty red undies? Now that's a horse of a different color!"
I discovered that the keyhole is a great place to insert fingers for clit rubbing.

Fun with phones

2009-05-10T23:25:00.005-04:00

Tonight darling came over to see me. I'd just straightened out a family mess, and really was glad to see him. He and I were just snuggling and talking until my friend "E" called. She wanted to chat, nothing in particular. Now I know darling. Every time this woman calls, he molests me until I squirm. Today I stayed on the phone even though he kissed my neck. I kept talking even though he pulled my breasts out of my bra and repeatedly licked, sucked, kissed, pinched, twisted, and bit my nipples. I gabbed it up as he whispered things in my other ear. When she finally hung up, I needed FUCKED! I was super horny. I asked if he wanted me to suck his dick. He said he was still feeling worn out from our last sex.
My bra was misaligned and poking my underarms, so I took my shirt and then bra off. He tackled me and devoured my nipples. I was soaking through my shorts, so I took them off. He seemed relieved. He said if I'd talked longer he was going to start fingering me. I laid back and he cuddled up with his arms around me and lazily traced his fingers over my thighs and outer lips, playing now and then with my razor stubble or lightly scratching my pussy. I was in such ecstasy that you would have thought he was holding a high powered vibrator on my clit. He laid there snuggled with me and tormenting me for a long while. Especially torturous for me was feeling his hard cock through his jeans, pressed against me.
Eventually he did get naked. When he did, he announced that I needed laid (well duh) but that I should suck his cock first. I reminded him that I offered to before. I was happy to oblige.
After I got him down my throat he grabbed a handful of my hair and slowly fucked my face. But only for a moment. He pushed me back down and was about to fuck me but he couldn't resist getting a taste of me first. One quick little taste and he was inside me.
Normally I get all dizzy and light headed from all the moaning and screaming and thrashing. Tonight's sex was much quieter and I was in awe of how gorgeous his body looked over mine. He fucked me slowly for ages. I marveled at the sight of him fucking me as though I'd never seen it before. His arms and chest felt so powerful as the surrounded me. His back curved so gently as my hands ran up and down it. I found a smooth spot on the side of his hip. The minute I started playing my fingers over the soft skin there, he began to groan. His voice was so deep and sexy in my ear. I could feel his hot breath on my skin. I oogled every inch of him, in awe at his beauty. When we were done and got cleaned up I was still staring at him in wonder. He was too hot to get onto the bed again or get dressed, so I looked him up and down for every second I could. My stares seemed to make him a little self-conscious at first. But when I kissed him and said, "Oh God, you're so hot you're making me wet again!" He grinned and straightened his posture a little. He shook his head at me and laughed a bit. He secretly loves all my attention. I know it. He also loved that I left those knee socks on. These ones.

Pink Robe and A Surprise

2009-05-08T23:10:00.003-04:00

I told darling that I thought this bathrobe was made in heaven from clouds and cotton candy. He said he agrees. Look! It's a pussy. It's pink too!

Comfy Dildo buys a Dildo

2009-05-08T22:37:00.004-04:00

Later, we decided to dildo shop together. I made him hold my hand. It was scary. (Ok not that scary.) I finally picked one out, but I'm waiting til tomorrow to order so I can get the mother's day sale at babeland.com. I wouldn't be able to get it shipped before Monday anyway. We both decided my best bet was to get a plain looking vibrating dildo since the realistic ones are a pain to clean and scare me a little. I think I'm going to order this one. Simple, but remember that I'm a "hands on" girl.

MMM Part 6

2009-05-08T22:18:00.003-04:00

We scratched our heads for a minute and thought we had things working. He sat on the couch and I backed up onto him. We fucked slowly and clumsily at first. Eventually I figured out how to sit up so he could see his cock going into me on the screen. He really enjoyed it. He'd wanted to film it in the first place because he said he enjoyed watching me suck his dick so much. We gave up after a bit and sat down to watch, but the video hadn't saved properly. We didn't putz on the computer long, we went back to trying to fuck but the couch didn't work so well. He did enjoy my boobies being right in his face though. We went back into the bedroom for round 4.

Round 4 started out a little dry, so we busted out the lube. It's messy, smells sickeningly sweet, and never comes off our skin for days. We hate it. "It's always so cold," he whined at me. I held it in my hand a bit first and then massaged it onto his dick. He moaned. I was a little surprised then remembered that, DUH, I was rubbing his cock with a slippery warm substance. He took the lube from me and made me lay down so he could get some on me.

I rubbed some on me too, then he started to help out. He was determined to really get some deep inside me and started to wipe some off my clit with his two fingers and then stuff it into me like he was tucking in one of those magic scarves with 18 knots. He was so methodical and indecorous about it that I giggled a great deal.

"Come here and fuck me, sticky hands!" I laughed.
He lowered himself onto me, trying not to touch anything. I held my half fists up in the air like a surgeon with freshly washed hands. I wrapped my legs around his back, knowing that position always makes him cum. We both needed to be done, things were getting sore. When he came, I coaxed him into the shower with me. We giggled, washed up, and playfully sprayed each other with the shower head on a hose. (The only good part about living totally alone in a handicap accessible house when you aren't in a wheelchair! I've made good friends with that shower head lately. *grin*) After we dried off, we lazed about, chatting. I played with his clean, soft chest hair.

MMM Part 5

2009-05-08T22:07:00.002-04:00

Round 3 got off (ha ha!) to a slow start with lots of mutual oral sex that now feels like a blur. I just remember his hands grabbing fistfuls of my hair as he fucked my face. It was pretty hot. At another point when I was sucking him, I started to feel horny again and wanted to fuck him again. I asked if he wanted to fuck. In a firm voice he said, "No, I want you to keep sucking me." His tone of voice suggested that anyone else would have followed that statement with a direct address of "bitch". I went back to happily sucking away at his cock.
"Do you want me to play with pussy or your tits?"
"Neither, I'm having fun here." I was being impudent. I should have known better today.
"I want something to play with," he demanded.
"Ok fine, you can have a boobie if you can reach." Not the tone of voice he wanted to hear. (Sex is fun when I have to struggle with him instead of him just giving in.)
"I'll give you something to moan about." I think he made some face at me, but I didn't look.

He said he wanted to get my laptop and try to film us fucking.(We've had many failures in the past.) We went out to the living room to see what we could figure out.

MMM Part 4

2009-05-08T21:44:00.003-04:00

We attempted to fuck in a dining room chair. FAIL!
We went back to the bed. I tried to fuck him while he sat up against the wall. FAIL!
He laid down and I tried to fuck him reverse cowgirl. FAIL!
I went back to facing him. AAH SUCCESS AT LAST!

Thus began round 2.

I found a spot deep inside me and off to my left that his dick hit that felt amazing. I fucked him against that sweet spot until I was tired. At one point I asked him to bite me, "really hard." He did. Without any thought or abandon, I hollered, "OH GOD THAT HU--....FELT SOOOOOOO GOOOOOOD!" He giggled a little and sucked my now sore nipple.

He got on top of me and continued pounding me right in that sweet spot until I finally came. I was screaming literally at the top of my voice. My voice was as deep as it gets. I surprised even me by how sexy I sounded. He continued fucking me slowly in that same spot for a while. I kept screaming. I'm not really sure why he stopped or when he stopped or what happened immediately next. I was fucking EXHAUSTED. I was ready to fall asleep, sated, and content.

Each time my eyes closed, he kissed me to wake me back up. I called him on it and then promised I wouldn't fall asleep. "Stupid dom shit he's pulling on me today. First controlling my drinking when I'm dehydrated, now controlling my sleep when I'm exhausted and dehydrated. Fuck that." I mumbled silently in my head. Below the conscious thought processes, deep in my subconscious, I liked it. I love being in charge all the time but when he gets it in his head to buck my control over him, it's sooooo fuckin' sexxxxxy. I think there's a secret dominant lurking back there behind everything in his brain. I better watch my ass cause one day I'm really in for it. :-D

MMM Part 3

2009-05-08T21:32:00.003-04:00

We went out to the kitchen to get a drink of water. I needed it badly from all that moaning and kissing and cock sucking. He started to wrap himself around me as I drank my water. He cupped my breast and pressed his still very hard cock into my hip. We kissed for a bit but I needed more to drink. I hugged him and kissed him some more. His cock met the bottom of my belly and slid down to the top of my slit. Inadvertently, I started rubbing against him.
"Looking for round 2?"
"There was a dick poking my pussy. That makes me horny. I can't help it."
I took another drink and he touched my already burning hot pussy. I nearly dropped the glass. He dropped to his knees to lick me. When he stood up again, I kissed him and then needed another drink. I was still dehydrated and he was doing his damnedest to keep me that way by not letting me finish even one glass of water.
"So where's round 2 gonna be?" He asks insistently.
"I dunno."
I knelt down to suck his dick.
"That felt good," he said when I was done and hugging him.
"You didn't think putting your dick in my mouth would feel good?"
"Your mouth was cold from the water you drank. It felt especially good after being in a hot pussy." I grinned but had to push him away to get more to drink.
He started jacking off. I couldn't get more than a swallow or two of water because he was so distracting. I bent down and ran my lips over the head of his cock and went back to trying to drink. I thought to myself, "This is the shit that some doms pull, thinking it's funny. It ain't funny. I'm dehydrated." I would have spanked him right then but I was too thirsty.

MMM Part 2

2009-05-08T21:29:00.001-04:00

After more snuggling and kissing, I told him I thought it was his turn for some attention. I scooted him over a bit so I could suck his dick. I saw his stomach twitching as the pleasure overwhelmed him. He eventually reached down and started to finger me deeply as I sucked him. I started to moan with him in my mouth.
"Oh God, that feels so good when you moan with me in your mouth!"
I moaned all the more knowing it felt good for him, he finger fucked me harder. He eventually pulled me up to him for kisses.
"Fuck me." I think he uttered the phrase without really being sure he'd done so. He seemed delightfully surprised when I mounted him. I fucked him slowly at first.
"Oh that feels so much better. You had me so horny I can't even begin to tell you."
At first I fucked him slowly. It was relieving for him and I felt content. Then it started to feel pretty good and we fucked with more passion.
"I wanna see how deep I can get you in me."
I took him in as deeply as I could, his cock pressing against the bottom of my cervix. I pressed him into me harder and ground myself against him slowly. I was enjoying it immensely but cautiously. I looked up at his face and he looked like he was in heaven. Normally there's still an inch or two of his cock that I just can't get inside me. Today I had him up to the balls inside me.
We eventually lost a bit of steam and sex turned into snuggling, so we decided to take a break.

MMM Part 1

2009-05-08T21:04:00.003-04:00

Darling showed up about 3 this afternoon. I was naked and freshly showered and shaved. I saw him get out of the car looking either tired or frustrated. The minute he saw my naked body through the screen door, he grinned. He threw his arms around me and kissed me with such passion that I felt my pussy getting hot. He kissed my neck and breasts and then my pussy. He bumped against the still open door and stood up to close it. He went back to kissing me and lustfully running his hands over my body. I dragged him back to the bedroom and asked if he wanted to take his clothes off too.

"Later, I wanna lick you first." He gestured for me to get on the bed and spread my legs. He dove right in, wasting no time in finding my clit with his tongue and biting at my thigh and outer labia. He alternated between eating me and kissing me deeply as he pressed his still clothed body into mine. He curled up next to me and fingered me as we kissed. I was in such ecstasy I don't really remember when he got up to get undressed. I do, however remember drooling a little at the first sight of his cock.

I hadn't even gotten off yet, but I already wanted him to fuck me. He was supposed to get me off twice first. I just laid there and enjoyed the fingering, clit licking, neck kissing, french kissing, and nipple biting and pinching until he finally did get me to cum. I thrashed about, pretzel knotted my legs into his, wrapped my arms around him and kissed him hard. I kissed his lips, his cheek, his neck, his shoulder, anything that my face came near. When I felt I'd screamed in his ear enough and sufficiently squished him, I let go and collapsed onto the bed.

"That was fun." He grinned. "Wanna do it again?"
"Ok but I need a break."

Why is this so hard?

2009-05-07T21:27:00.005-04:00

ha ha bad pun

Anyhow, why is sex toy shopping so daunting? There are too many choices, sizes, shapes, materials, and functions. I'm supposed to get a dildo so darling can watch me fuck myself. The only problem standing in my way is that as a "hands on" "do it yourself" kind of girl, I have limited experience with toy shopping. I visited a few sites before I found anything under 100 dollars that didn't vibrate. I don't know if he'd rather watch me fuck a realistic looking cock or ye olde plastic cylinder.

You'd think Miss Comfydildo would at least own one. You'd be wrong. I own one toy. Nothing wrong with it, but it's not exactly the most fuckable thing out there.

It seems that the realistic looking ones are made of stuff that's hard to clean and are pretty pricey for something that I'm just gonna jam inside me where I can't see it anyhow.
If he doesn't care what it looks like then I'll consider it an investment in my private pleasure for later and probably look for one that vibrates and is easy to clean. Not that scary rabbit/dolphin thing though. That scares the shit out of me!!

*sigh* I went to babeland and filled up a shopping cart with $150 worth of stuff that looked promising to show him when he comes over, the cart is overflowing even further as I write this.
I'm feeling a little lost. I'm looking for some suggestions from my favorite peanut gallery.

If you own sex toys, let's hear it! What's your fave and where did you find it?

Phone Sex, Better End of the Deal

2009-05-07T21:05:00.003-04:00

Last night I called darling, whining and ranting about how the media is ruining society.
SOMEHOW....
the conversation turned into phone sex!
Well, I was bitching about the "fat" J.S. impersonator in a certain hip hop video, which I will not mention by name because I don't want fans finding this site, who really isn't fat. Then I moved on to the fact that the one redeeming moment of the video was the orgy scene with the "Who's Nailin' Palin?" star, a polar bear, an eskimo, and a man in suspenders and a trapper hat.
I mentioned that I wanted to have an orgy with an eskimo, polar bear, dude in a trapper hat, and a porn star. Then I got negotiated down to just fucking darling in a trapper hat. Then we started talking about orgies, which lead to a sexy game of truth or dare while I masturbated furiously until 3 AM. He no longer has a hands free headset, so he had to hang up then in order to get off. I whined about not getting to hear it, but understood why he needed to put the phone down.

Among the things we dared each other to do, I'm supposed to sit around naked as much as possible today and tomorrow and greet him at the door completely nude when he comes over. He has to get me off twice before he's allowed to fuck me. I totally got the better end of this deal! I also get to go sex toy shopping!

I was all excited for him to come over tonight but he was exhausted and wanted to sleep as soon as he pulled in his parent's driveway. Probably because I kept him up til at least 3 AM. I plan to do whatever I can to keep him horny tonight to ensure my getting laid tomorrow. *wicked laughter*

PS Honey, I know I said I'd be naked but it's chilly so I'm in my bathrobe. If you don't like it, why don't you get over here and rip it off me?

Twitter Photo

2009-05-06T22:05:00.003-04:00

I decided that being a teacher doesn't mean I have to follow a *NO* photos rule. It just means a stricter control on how much of me you get to see. I've removed or edited some of the images from previous posts. If your favorite one is missing, I'm sorry but it's MY face after all.

Anyhow... My twitter photo
Featuring: My Newest Knee Socks... They were FREE!!!
Guest Starring: My New Smaller-Than-It-Used-To-Be Behind

Blogger ate my last template

2009-05-05T23:30:00.001-04:00

so I guess it's time for a new one. no more fancy templates with XHTML that doesn't match what blogger likes. :(

At least this template has blow jobs!

Yes that was my screenshot an hour ago.

IM conversation with Darling

2009-05-02T09:39:00.003-04:00

Darling:I wish I were doing something...I'm too tired to be academic, don't want to clean any more, and there's no hockey left to watch tonight what's a guy supposed to do?
Comfy: umm call me and/or masturbate furiously?
Darling: could
Comfy: it's friday night you could go to a party and hunt up some hot college ass lol
Darling: yeah, but i don't know where the parties are i'm out of the loop majorly I don't have any contact information for any student at [this college], actually
Comfy: you should get bio major note writing girl's number lol
Darling: heh actually, i had intended to get some way of getting in touch with her today, but prof ran class over, and I had to run off to my other class
Comfy: i still think you should bang her lol
Darling: though i seriously did want the information for academic purposes
Comfy: mmmhmm sure you did
Darling: well, i do have two classes with her, and i was trying to figure out a way to fill in the big gap in my finals schedule
Comfy: by fuckin her?
Darling: .... sure, that
Comfy: i mean, "filling in her gap"?
Darling: ugh that's a bad one *shakes head*
Comfy: i'm chuckling mightily
Darling: you would
Comfy: yes
Darling: oh, i didn't tell you what happened in class yesterday, did I?
Comfy: nope *ears perk up*
Darling: apparently, someone in a previous class left some paper sitting on her desk (she sits directly behind me in this class)
she walks in, sees the paper, and asks me "Ooo, did you write me a love note?"
oooh
Comfy: damn she is trying hard to get your attention!
Darling: I look over as she turns the paper over and we see that it's a photocopy of apparently a linear algebra textbook
so she yells "You did leave me a love note!"
Comfy: nice
Darling: i got a chuckle out of it, as did the others sitting nearby
Comfy: *sighs* my geeky man!
Darling: . . .
Comfy: I'm going to marry you, like it or not
Darling: :) YAY
Comfy: when are you gonna bang this girl?
Darling: i dunno i probably won't
Comfy: are you gonna try?
Darling: if i run into her in the fall
Comfy: ok
Darling: i probably won't get a chance to even talk to her again before summer though i'm pretty sure i'm going to have a class with her next spring
Comfy: you geeky guys are so bad at the whole dating thing, you gotta get the numbers ahead of time you can't let it get to this point
Darling: i never thought of it
Comfy: not every woman is gonna plant herself in your lap you should have said, "speaking of lovenotes, can i get your number?" lol
Darling: heh
Comfy: you don't have to be smooth, just be direct it worked with me didn't it?
Darling: what i should have done is given her my email address and/or screenname for "more homework help"
Comfy: yeah

The conversation continued as he tried to use campus technology to find out her number without any luck.

Writing Excercises from Mary Shelley

2009-05-01T23:45:00.004-04:00

This post contains graphic material slightly atypical for this blog. You may not wish to read this. If you are squeamish about blood stop here.

After spending a week reading Frankenstein, I lamented that I could not stretch myself as a writer as far as Mary Shelley did and yet still produce something that would become a classic. This is my far from classic-worthy first attempt. I decided to include a warning because if I stumbled onto this post somewhere in blog land, I would probably have a nightmare. Hence, I knew it was just the sort of thing to stretch my writing.

Normally a very neat and tidy person in the bedroom, I surprise myself sometimes. I was sent a rather bland and boring porn clip by a friend. I was determined that I did not want to have sex like that ever. Inspired by this defiance, my mind raced with newer, dirtier, more graphic thoughts than usual. I marched triumphantly off to the bathroom with my vibrator. I had a feeling this would be one mess I WOULDN'T want to sleep in afterward.

I settled my naked body into the chilly, empty bathtub. The instant shock of cold triggered my cramps again. I was determined nonetheless. The rain pattered on the roof above and the occasional clap of thunder startled me. It seemed like the perfect backdrop to my maniacal scheme. "Too perfect," I thought with a grin that I'm sure was pure evil, "I wish I made shit like this up, my writing would be soo much better!"

As I slowly worked the vibrator in and out of my pussy, I felt a scorching hot liquid slowly dripping out of me. I grinned again. I knew fully well what it was. I didn't bother trying not to get it under my nails. I was in the tub for Pete's sake. With that reminder to myself, the last neat-freak thought passed from my head and I plunged my hand into my pussy.

I fucked myself hard with my left hand, while the right held the vibe just to the side of my clit. Moments later things were far too slippery to manage a decent grip on the smooth plastic toy. It banged against the side of the tub next to my hip and noisily jackhammered against the enamel of the tub. In my desperation to reach for it, I flailed and reached across my chest. A huge drop of blood spattered onto my porcelain skin. It landed on my breast.

I forgot all about the vibrator and stared at it. I was repulsed at first, shocked. It dripped from my breast down to my stomach and from there I couldn't see it anymore. I went to wipe it off of myself but when I saw my hands they were covered in blood.

Something in me broke loose. I was no longer repulsed. I felt as though I'd done some dastardly crime. I stared at my hands, shiny and dripping with blood. I laughed so maniacally that the sound of my own voice startled me. Then, I was aroused. Few people see this much blood on their ungloved hands, most of them, I reasoned must be murderers. I was sorry I couldn't get photos, quite frankly.

I felt that I understood a small portion of what it feels like to kill someone. I now understood the rush a serial killer could feel simply at the sight of his own deed.

I fucked myself some more. Like fucking a warm corpse.

I came and looked about me. "What the hell have I done? This is sick shit!" I was aghast at myself. Before I could start freaking out I remembered that I was alone and my actions were my choices, not a rape or a mind fuck. It was just the period from hell and a week of reading Frankenstein. (Damn you Mary Shelley! I don't know whether to thank you or curse you!)

I took a hot shower and scrubbed myself clean. I felt better, somehow distanced from the event. Then I felt a little impish. That stupid little voice in the back of my head said, "You don't want to forget about this if for no reason other than it will force you to write." I realized that stupid little voice was right. Much like gender inversions and double inversions, this was a writing exercise that stretches creativity as a writer because it is unfamiliar, unconfortable, and is out of the limits of what is conceivable for me. Unlike gender double inversions, though, it really could happen because it just did. Plus some people out there might be sick enough to think it was hot. I giggled to myself and flopped into bed to write.

Such a Twit

2009-04-30T11:36:00.001-04:00

I have moved into a new level of narcissism. Won't you indulge me? I got a Twitter account. Now you can all stalk me even more!

ComfyD

Comfys First Fuck as a College Graduate

2009-04-26T20:38:00.005-04:00

You can read about darling's first post-graduation fuck here.
Yesterday I finally got to see my darling again. He picked me up and brought me back to his parent's house. They were out at a wedding til late at night. It was great to see him finally healthy and in good spirits. We were cuddling and horsing about playfully for part of the afternoon. I leaned back against him on the couch and said, "Hey, check this out," as I proudly held my now loose khakis away from my waist. He wasted no time jamming his hand down though the waist to get at my pussy. He tickled me lightly though my thong and then pulled his hand back out. About 10 minutes later I had my hand up the leg of his shorts reaching for his cock. "I think I found something good in here," I grinned.
His cock grew a little firmer in my hand and I giggled, "Oh I know what this is now!"
He pulled my hand out probably because I was making his pants feel too tight everywhere that my arm was taking up space. He kissed me and then I sat up to readjust my bra. I accidentally snapped myself with the band. It stung. He soothed me and then suggested I remove it. I said I didn't want it sitting around in the living room if someone came in. He said I should go to his room and take it off then. I said, "If I go in there to take it off, I'm taking everything off, and I'm expecting you to do the same, and then I'm expecting to get laid."
He tried to keep a straight face, "Might happen... might not"
"I don't like the might not."
"Only one way to find out..."
I got distracted by something and then remembered, "Oh I was supposed to be getting naked in your room."
I headed back and he followed me.
I promptly undressed while he sat on the bed staring at me like I was supposed to be dancing an Irish jig or something entertaining like that. He put his arms out to me and I kissed him. I rolled onto the bed, pulling him on top of me. He wasted no time in getting to taste my pussy.
"Oh wow, you taste really good!"
He kissed me and gave me a taste on his lips.
"Thanks."
He dove back down to taste me some more. He licked me and fingered me while I squirmed and panted on the bed. Then he started sucking on my nipple while he rubbed my clit. I was so distracted by each pleasure that I couldn't cum no matter how good it felt. I just writhed under him and enjoyed it. He pulled a finger full of my cum out of my pussy and brought it to my mouth. I sucked his hand clean and he immediately kissed me, licking my tongue and stealing my cum back before I swallowed it. I saw his throat move as he gulped it greedily down. This cum swapping thing he's started is pretty cool. I'm not gonna lie.
I asked him, "Why don't you get undressed too?"
He'd completely forgotten that he was dressed. When he got naked he knelt on the bed, shoving his cock into my mouth. He started to fuck my face and I gagged. He let me up for air and checked to see that I was ok before shoving himself back into my mouth. I managed to get my hand around his dick in front of my lips to keep him from gagging me again. He grabbed my braid and another big chunk of hair that had fallen out in his fist and held my head still for him to fuck my face some more. It was AWESOME!
I had drool and what I thought was precum all over my face when he finally let go of me. I wiped my face off to discover it wasn't precum, he was already oozing real cum! He laid down as I wiped my face off and I crawled on top of him.
"I think I'm gonna fuck you now," I cooed in a rather domineering little girl voice.
"But what if I wanna fuck YOU?" He gasped as his cock slid into me.
"You'll get to in a minute." I grinned
I fucked him until I finally came rather hard.
I collapsed on top of him, panting.
"Need a breather?"
"Nope"
I rolled over so he could get his turn on top.
He fucked me slowly for a minute, holding his body at arm's length from mine, taking in the view I suppose. I pulled him back down against me for a kiss and that's about when he started to cum.
We just laid there a minute, extremely comfortable and satisfied.
Then we went and watched Bill Nye -- NO JOKE!!

Mid Afternoon E-mail from Daring

2009-04-22T20:29:00.004-04:00

I had the rare occasion today to get an e-mail from darling. We're usually on AOL so I don't get too many e-mails. When I do, it's always something good. Today was no exception
"Subject: A quick story
'Hey,

'A story from class that I thought you'd get a chuckle out of:

'I think I've mentioned [this girl] to you once or twice before; she sits by me in two classes, is a math/bio double major, and loves to beg for homework help.

'Anyways, in [a graduate math class] today, she turned around and stole my red pencil, apparently doodling while the professor droned on about a lengthy derivation from a homework assignment we just got back.

'A few minutes later, she passes me the scanned note.

'I chuckled, and thought you would too.
-[Darling]"I think she has a crush on him. I could see him being interested, she's the closest to me (major, interests, age, pigtails, etc) that he's going to find a hundred miles away. I told him to ask her out. He says she has a boyfriend who is bigger than he is. Maybe it's not serious. I don't know. All I know is I want Darling to bang her!

Thinking about Things: Geek Blog Crossover Special

2009-04-20T09:57:00.004-04:00

This is a post from my other blog, which I've decided to share here. Maybe it will entice you to click on over and check the other one out and show you care about the not so sexy part of my life too, now that you're already addicted to my boring life story...

I'm sitting here in my apartment. It's the official start of finals week, though I had one final already, sandwiched in the middle of orientation for my graduate teaching program. I'm going to graduate in a week, though the date of commencement is irrelevant to me since I'm not going to go to the large, impersonal ceremony. What do I want out of my life? Where am I going? Who is coming with me? Why did I pick them? Questions I find myself asking after a day of intense interviewing on Friday.

They are complicated questions. Ones that may not have obvious answers. Right now my goals in life are to finish this last week of undergrad, finish the master's program, find a job, get married. Those have been my goals for the last 3 -7 years. They'll likely all be accomplished in the next 5, hopefully 2 years. It's time to set some really long term goals again, but I'm at a loss. It's hard to imagine that the facetious "and then I'll live happily ever after" that I threw in there to indicate that I had no further plans at the moment is creeping up on me. Nobody ever gets "happily ever after." They get real life, with its good and its bad.

It's also difficult to imagine that marrying darling won't solve all my life's problems. I know that it won't, but I can't seem to convince myself to wake up and smell the coffee. That's where it hit me. As much as I love being with my darling, marriage creates its own problems. I imagine ours will be no different.

No different??? It's hard to step back and realize the hard truth that there's very little that's special about me. I think I'm special, but does anybody interviewing me think that? I'd doubt it. I'm a very special woman in an applicant pool of very special people. I suppose darling thinks I'm special, but he's supposed to. Nobody should be willing to marry someone who doesn't stand out of the crowd to him.

So where does that leave me? Tremendously valued by some, and trampled and ignored by others. I guess that's life. But it's not good enough for me. I'm better than that... and so is everyone else if they decide not to lie down and accept the trampling. But where do I go from here?

Apples to Oranges

2009-04-08T15:01:00.003-04:00

I had to take my computer to the apple store to get it fixed. That meant a short hike with a full bookbag. I got in, just barely on time. I was a bit dizzy from running and the buzzing crowd left me a bit stunned. I crawled up onto one of the bar stools... I knew the drill from before... and let my head clear. "Damn this place is bumpin'!" I thought with a smile. My next thought was "OMG!! I'm in geek heaven!"
There were three tech support guys at the bar where I had to sit and set up my computer for them to look at it. They were all out of shape, on the furrier side, and had huge glasses. They all wore shirts that said, "Not all heros wear capes." I had no trouble picturing the guy who was taking a look at my computer in a cape. In fact, I'll bet he LURVES "Star Wars". I picture him as being an "Empire Strikes Back" fan. (Yes, I've been around enough geeks to be able to guess blindly which is their favorite episode of the trilogy. I'm right 2/3 of the time. It's a matter of personal pride, actually.) I was pretty bummed about having to trek all the way down there in person, but geek dude made me feel better. I realized that I was in a shrine to my favorite OS, surrounded by geeky guys that know how to fix my computer well enough to do it for a living and beautiful electronics that glittered like jewels. I got a little shiver down my spine. Were I single I would definitely have gotten tech-support-geek-dude's number. Sorry, darling, you know I can't resist a geek with thick, black, plastic frames and a demagnitized screwdriver in his hand.

I Remember

2009-04-03T21:51:00.002-04:00

I remember the calm quiet of the evenings. After we'd both settled for the night, both had our baths. I was sequestered in the usual corner of your couch, going about my work. I lived in that 3 square foot space with the occasional annexation of the rest of the couch and the ottoman. It was a soft, happy existence. I was the little mouse in your apartment watching you work quietly and going about my life, happy to be there with you.

I remember you coming out from your shower in the evening. You smelled clean and your hair and skin felt so soft. You'd be wrapped up in that dark green bathrobe and your faded red slippers, a classic color-blind mistake. I remember you coming over to the couch to watch good eats with me. I remember the soapy smell and soft dampness of your chest hair peeking out of your robe.

I remember holding hands and walking two miles to church on chilly, rainy Sunday mornings in the spring. I remember you holding me close to you in the rain under the umbrella after church while I sobbed uncontrollably at the bus stop.

Results from Last Poll: photos

2009-04-02T17:58:00.004-04:00

I asked how devastated you would be if I stopped posting pictures of myself.

I had 8 votes

I'll be sad but it's ok. 2 votes
I'll probably quit reading. 4 votes
Will you still put them up if I pay? 2 votes

I'm a little sad that some of my readers would leave if it weren't for the pictures, but on the other hand I'm glad that you all seem to like them.
Here's the deal, I'm going into teaching and I start soon. I can't have identifiable images of me naked or otherwise attached to a sex blog out there on the internet. I sort of enjoy posting them but perhaps it's just not wise to continue unless they are password protected. The thing is, I don't know a way to do that without putting them on a separate private blog and choose who I give permission to read it. That presents a problem for shy lurkers who don't have the balls to e-mail me and ask for the permission. I'm not sure how to handle that situation. Does anybody have suggestions?

I've been outed... not THAT way!

2009-03-25T22:18:00.004-04:00

Apparently the geek in me just can't hide.
Today I wore a black long sleeved shirt with a black t-shirt that had a computer saying on it over top. My glasses were on and my hair was in the messiest ponytail ever. I felt kinda frumpy but I had two exams back to back and fashion wasn't exactly on my mind. My friend saw me and complimented me on how nice I looked. Typically I'm in at least a nice sweater or something so I was a bit surprised. I laughed and then recalled the first time I ever wore this outfit.
I was living with darling and I was wearing the shirt because it was a campus freebie and relevant to the rest of the week's activities. I had pig tails and glasses and looked like a huge geek. Darling just hugged me, grinned, and told me I'd never looked better.
Come to think of it, I get compliments every time I wear this exact outfit and hardly ever any other time. Apparently there's something to this whole geek girl appeal I try so hard to avoid. First the knee socks, now the computer t-shirt with glasses. Hm... I'm left to wonder... Are all men secretly geeks? If that's the case I'm missing out on a hell of a lot of sexy.

Masturbation Moratorium

2009-03-24T08:52:00.005-04:00

Imagine how hard it is to make it through a day without masturbation...

A week...

When you're in a long distance relationship...

For 40 days...

...

I think they made a movie about this. Silent youtube clip

Geek Fetish: What Makes Me Tick?

2009-03-20T11:05:00.003-04:00

I sat in class awake for the first time in ages. Why? The topic was something I was curious about. All of a sudden I wanted to pay attention and I have a list of 10 off-topic burning questions to e-mail the professor. As my questions built up on the page I noticed something kinda funny going on in my stomach. I had butterflies. I sat up a little in my seat and noticed something else... My panties were soaked already.

Curiosity about the sciences has always been what has driven my life. I know I talk about having a geek fetish, but the truth is that it isn't a conscious choice. Geeky science or computer stuff actually causes physiological reactions in my body the way seeing a crush across the room does to most people. I blush, get butterflies in my tummy, soak through my undies, etc. I couldn't help it if I wanted to. I'm certain it has nothing to do with the person teaching me about science. In fact, some of my best science teachers have been elderly. I've had crushes on Bill Nye, Stephen Hawking, and even some minor fleeting ones on two of my professors -- not the most attractive people out there, but damn smart and ready to teach.

I know darling doesn't quite understand how I tick with regard to my geek fetish but he inadvertently indulges me at least once a day. I think that may have a lot to do with the reason I still have a major crush on him after dating for 7 years. He talks about the things he cares about (science, math, computers, books, etc) and makes me horny without trying. I'd have a crush on him with his natural tendency to burst into scientific lecture even if he was horribly disfigured. (Thank God he's gorgeous to boot!) He starts talking about black holes or something and will just launch into full blown lecture, as though he had a class of students paying to hear him. I LOVE that! I have been sitting on the couch talking to darling calmly one minute and then literally jumped on him with intent to rape him because he started to lecture me about astrophysics or something. If he could continue teaching me during sex (I think he only managed to do that once or twice.) it would be the best sex ever.

I suppose then the best advice I can give people looking to attract a mate is to find out what makes them tick and be interesting to them in a way that still lets you be yourself. It worked for Einstein until academic superiority got in the way.

Happy St. Patty's Day

2009-03-17T00:28:00.004-04:00

I went to study with my friend at local coffee shop. She talked me into not studying. Then she talked me into taking her to the bar across the street for dinner, her treat. I demurred until she promised spinach artichoke dip. I was putty in her hands after that. She had a beer and I broke my Lenten oath and had a Coke. Apparently the place charges an outrageous fee if you don't order a fountain or alcoholic drink with your meal. Well we were about to leave when two guys approached us. One pretended to be the manager and so we gushed about the good food. He turned out to be joking. The guy behind him was clearly his wingman. They turned out to be soldiers from Iraq, one got out before the other and they were meeting up for the younger one's 27th birthday. They worked hard to get our attention, and my friend ate it up. She's 10 times the attention whore I am. Probably the biggest one in the world who isn't famous yet. She's a local celebrity of a kind, but not so much off campus. Well we weren't really buying into it but then the wingman mentioned he was Korean. My friend LOVES Korean language and culture since she met her freshman roommate, who came from S. Korea. Well the other guy tried with me and I tried to be nice to keep the wingman around for my friend but I was completely uninterested. We thanked them for protecting our country. Then my friend let loose. She told them I did "Tits for Troops", which is a total lie. I knew from then on that I wasn't gonna get rid of this guy. Eventually my friend met someone else she knew and started to ignore both of them. I got a little icy, not wanting to be pawed by a drunk soldier who was big enough to beat my face to a pulp. The guy went back to his table of friends, or maybe to another table of girls... I'm not sure but I don't much care. Wingman then started talking to me because my friend was ignoring him for someone who spoke more Korean than he did. He was a nice guy but was getting eaten alive for wearing a rival school's shirt and hoodie. He wasn't familiar with the area and barely knew where he was except by state and city. I wanted to get out of there and get home, but miss social butterfly kept me there til quarter after 12. The first guy eventually came back to try his luck with a different approach. He purposely tried to piss me off, but I knew the angle. Then when I kept my cool he said he'd remember me forever as the "neurotic chick who was sending him home alone tonight". I almost lost it. I gently patted his shoulder and said, "I'm engaged. You were going home alone anyway." I walked off coolly and knew I won. Wingman laughed pretty hard until he realized he was going home alone too.
"Seriously?" He asked. "I thought you were living with her... I mean WITH her."
"Nope, she's just a friend who loves me enough to buy me my favorite food for dinner."
"Damn, ok. So then it's really time to turn on the charm!"
"It's ok, I'm taking her home whether she likes it or not tonight but rest assured, I can tell from what I know of her flighty attention whorey-ness, that she was pretty into you and that if you get her number and wait around patienty for her to start talking to you again, she's yours."
"For real? Couldn't you just give me her number? Wait, I'm leaving town in two days."
"Ok, everyone else in the world has it. Just call her about 4 tomorrow afternoon when her class is over and she'll probably make out with you. She does that sort of thing a lot."
"You're not so nice to her are you?"
"I love her to death. I just know her better than anyone in the world and always tell the truth."

Later, at the bus stop:
My friend: Did you give Kevin (wingman) my number?"
Me: Yeah, is that cool?
Friend: Um.... yeah I guess so.
Me: Good, cause you're gonna make out with him tomorrow afternoon.
Friend: I love it when you make dates for me! It takes all the work out of it!
She hugs me.

My Reminder of Last Night

2009-03-15T21:57:00.003-04:00

one small love bite near my nipple. If this were a bulls eye, I'd say darling didn't earn any points. lol!

Your New Number One Reason to Eat Your Vegetables

2009-03-15T21:46:00.002-04:00

Everything I Needed

2009-03-15T20:31:00.004-04:00

It's been a rough week. I spent my whole spring break in the hospital checking on grandpa and keeping grandma sane. I got nothing productive done, didn't see darling as much as I wanted to, and was frustrated in my apartment search. Yesterday morning I got in the shower with resentful thoughts already stewing in my brain. I decided to shave but about the time I got around to doing my pussy I let out a sigh. I thought, "I dunno why I'm bothering." I've been frustrated all week by not getting alone time with darling and when I did he was too sick for sex. I went ahead and shaved on the slim off chance he'd be up for some fun that night... If I got to see him at all.

By the end of the day I was in a foul mood and realized that I'd been crying for three days straight every minute I was alone. Then darling said he'd come see me after he got home from church. I nearly forgot about it in doing laundry and cooking. At 7:30 or so he showed up and we were alone finally.

He was surprisingly in a wonderful mood. He barely seemed sick at all. I didn't hear him coughing much, so I decided it was probably safe to kiss him. I had been avoiding that when he was sick. I really enjoyed kissing him last night. He seemed pretty damned excited about it too.

Later on, I hypothesized that his soft parts were all tasty, and most soft parts are ticklish, so all soft parts must be ticklish parts. After kissing a few tasty and ticklish parts, he pointed out that his elbow was ticklish. It didn't seem tasty or soft. He kept kissing my neck in that spot that sometimes makes me cum. Then a lightbulb went on in my head. His dick is soft and tasty but not ticklish. I said that I wanted to test it just to be sure. I was surprised when he agreed.

We got lost in kissing for a few minutes, but then I reminded him that he had to take his pants off if I was gonna kiss his dick.
"Oh yeah, I guess you're right!"
He got undressed and I followed suit.

He laid down on the bed and got comfortable. I kissed him some more but then went straight to kissing his dick instead.

I lightly brushed my lips against him, covering his cock in gentle dry kisses. I let my lips lightly drag over the head of his cock. I could see his stomach quivering each time I did it. I took part of the head in my mouth and let it slip out of my lips slowly. I remembered I had to take my pill so I ran off to get it and came back quickly. He looked pretty impatient when I returned less than a minute later. I continued taking more and more of him in my mouth and letting him slip out from between my lips until the entire length of his shaft was nice and wet. Then I started to suck him in and out of my mouth, caressing the head gently with my tongue.

He reached down to touch my cheek to get my attention. He pulled me up to lay beside him and kissed me some more. We laid there playing with each other and kissing sensuously. He fucked me with one of his fingers and dragged it across my clit each time he pulled his hand back. One finger became two, and then I think three but I'm not sure. We were both writhing and sighing.

He crawled to the bottom of the bed to lick my pussy. He sucked my lips into his mouth and ran the flat of his tongue all along the inside of me. He crawled back up beside me and kissed me. The taste of my juices was covering his lips. He fingered me some more and then we each sucked one of his fingers clean. Apparently one fingerful of my juice wasn't enough for him. He dove in for a deep kiss and licked my juices back off of my tongue. It was incredibly sexy. Female cum swapping!

He also kept sucking one of my nipples into his mouth whenever he thought I needed additional distraction.

He asked me as he rubbed my clit whether I wanted more of the same or if I wanted to fuck.
"I can't ask you to stop that! How about both?"

I sucked him a little more and then he asked me to get on top of him. I crawled on top of him as I had before when we were fully dressed and only kissing, but this time I was marvelling at the feel of his naked skin against mine. His cock slid inside me easily. I was soaked.

I rode him slowly at first. It had been too long since we last fucked and I wasn't used to feeling so full. We both sighed with relief in each other's ears about how good it felt and how much we needed it.

He told me that he was looking over my shoulder in the mirror and watching himself fucking me. He said he could see his dick going inside me. "It's hot," he gasped. We fucked slowly for what felt like half an hour, but I can't honestly say how long it was. He kept getting me to sit up and ride him while he rubbed my clit.

He sighed, "I'm so close right now. Make me cum." It was more an encouragement and a request than an order. I rode him faster as he wound his arms around my back, kissing me and biting at my nipple. I didn't notice when he came because I was in the middle of orgasm as well.

We cleaned up and snuggled naked for a little bit. We were both so happy and fulfilled. I said to him, "That was worth waiting two months for."

Harsh Honesty and Illnesses

2009-03-08T20:32:00.005-04:00

I didn't think I wanted to share all of this information with you, dear readers, but I suppose now I will. I know I don't owe anybody any explanations for absences or lack of writing, but I feel like sharing.

Darling has suffered so many problems this last year. He was dealing with depression that got worse by the day from last January until about November. It was obvious to everyone around him and not just me by April when we moved out of our apartment. By October, I was at my wits end with him. He wasn't treating me well. By November I nearly left him.

I laid what I needed from him out on the line over the course of a few weeks and he snapped out of it. I didn't tell him then, but I had a time table set in mind already. I was sensitive to the fact that he was clinically depressed, and silently gave him until our anniversary to get over himself and start treating me better. That would have been about 3 months -- depression is a slow process -- but it turned out not to be necessary. Things returned to normal between us much more quickly than I had imagined they could. In under a month, things were back to perfect.

Around Thanksgiving, he came down with bronchitis. I found it nothing short of a miracle that I could be around him the entire holiday season, and even be intimate with him and never cough one time. In January, he still wasn't over it, and had to move to another state for graduate school.

He got progressively worse and a 3 or 4 weeks ago he was having hallucinogenic fevers, panic attacks, nausea, and dehydration. He was living alone and very ill. I begged him to have his mother drive out to take care of him and he finally did. She took him to the ER and got him a full course of antibiotics.

He took them and appeared to be quite healthy when I went with his mother to see him a week ago. He coughed 7 times the entire day I was there. (Yes, the crazy nurturing mother in me forced me to count.) He had a follow up doctor's appointment on Wednesday and was declared cured.

On Thursday he started coughing again. He drove home for spring break on Friday, and I saw him yesterday. Yesterday, he was feeling crummy so I brought him a rootbeer float. It was 73 degrees outside and beautiful. He said he was chilly in the unairconditioned house. I got suspicious and checked his temperature. Sure enough he had a fever. I gave him a ton of massages and tried to soothe him. I was careful not to kiss him on the mouth more than once or twice.

I love him so very much but I'm understandably anxious to see him healthy and able to really be my man again. He needs my love, care, and patience still, and I know he's appreciative. It helps to know that, but nonetheless I can feel my maternal instincts wearing thin as my workload and family issues bear down on me. I'm feeling all too much like that selfless mother we all know, who goes months without feeling pretty, getting laid, or having much fun for herself. I think I'm gonna go look for some nice new bras and jeans tomorrow. My good bra is looking pretty gross now and both my pairs of jeans have holes. Maybe I'll feel better.

so... musings

2009-03-02T21:10:00.006-05:00

So the new layout is here to stay I think. I like it for the moment but you never know with me.

So that Bio TA who made me so hot and bothered is apparently not married. His ring is a bottle opener that he wears on either hand. Furthermore, I happen to know what geeky website he bought it on because it's where I buy darling's gifts all the time. He's definately on my radar for his sexy geek appeal rather than his looks. That's not to say he's unattractive. He's pretty hot by most people's standards, but he's too skinny for my type. But DAMN that geek appeal of his is so thick I can smell it down the hall! He is totally into me too. Darling's lucky he's got his good looks and big dick on his side or I might be looking for a second boyfriend.

So my friend gave me a bunch of sweaters she can't wear anymore and she uses the same laundry detergent darling always buys. I wore one today and also ended up using the same shampoo darling uses. All day I've been unable to get him out of my mind because everywhere I turn I smell strongly of him. Darling has 4 smells: his detergent, his deodorant, his shampoo, and the pheromones that scent his neck. The last one isn't so much a smell as something I know that's there that influences my hormones. I've never been able to figure out exactly when he starts giving off those pheromones. They're stong when we're fucking, but also at other seemingly random times when I'm horny as hell and he's not. I wonder if he's always giving them off and I have windows when I'm sensitive to them or if he gives them off because I'm giving off some signal that I'm horny.

... maybe that's something to ask that ta... *wicked grin*

I've only known one other guy whose pheromones I've smelled. They again have no odor, but somehow smell different.

Touch

2009-03-01T19:46:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago darling was extremely ill. I was kept pretty busy trying to keep him company on the phone and online until he could fall asleep at night and then had to do homework after all that. He surprised me and came home on Valentine's day. I dropped all my work and went to see him at his parents' house. He slept most of the time but it was still worth it.

Last week the university pulled a shitty move on me and I had 7 graded things (5 tests + two more labs) to do and I barely stopped to breathe much less blog. Friday I did the yawn and stretch. I went home. Yesterday, darling's mother picked me up bright and early to accompany her on a 100 mile drive to see darling.

We got to his apartment and I couldn't even see the apartment behind him. I was too busy kissing him and staring at his face. We stood there kissing, grinning, and saying "wow you're here" until his mom parked and came in. I finally looked around me.

He has a cozy little place. It looks an awful lot like the place my mom and dad lived in W. Virginia (not where I live now) when I was a baby. I have pics. I don't remember the place. I was too young. In fact it looks eerily like the pictures minus the piles of diapers in packaging being used as an end table.

I kept grabbing hugs whenever I could and then we all sat down to decide what to do and I leaned on him on the couch. We decided to go out to see the local shopping area and mall. He showed us all the little things he worked out to make his one room more livable. I started to give him the neck rub I promised him a few days before. He started to lean back on me too far and I feared we'd topple over like dominoes. He plopped down at his computer chair and I continued with a head/neck/shoulder/back/arm rub. He told me he'd give me to the count of two million to stop but he stopped counting at 2. I was just enjoying touching him all over in a completely mom-appropriate way. It seemed better than grab-assing and dry humping.

We got ready to go and we sat in the back of his mom's car holding hands over the arm rest. When we got to the mall, we held hands the whole time. Half because I wanted to and half because the crowd was dense and I was petrified. (I'm scared of getting lost in crowds.) Then we all went to lunch and that was a fairly hands-off affair. He mom kept teasing me because I wasn't ready to let go of his hand all day and kept telling him, "No don't let go yet!"

After lunch, we just went back to the apartment to chill. I cuddled up with my head on his stomach and lap and refused to let go of his hand. I closed my eyes and memories came flooding back of his other apartment last year. So well I remember sleeping in his lap like that during hockey games on that very same couch in our little love nest off-campus. His mom dozed off a little in his easy chair next to us and it was all so comforting. Five o'clock rolled around and we finally started out for home. I was sad, but didn't dare start crying with a 100 mile drive next to his mom ahead of me. He seemed even sadder than I was. I was afraid he might cry.

Today all I can think of is how much I want to touch him some more. That touching was healing for both of us.

Apparently

2009-02-22T20:27:00.003-05:00

Apparently geek girls in sweat shirts are still sexy

GPQ2: You knew this one was coming!

2009-02-12T11:38:00.004-05:00

Today's gender perspective question open to the ladies this time: (Let's be rainbow friendly and say guys can answer about the men they sleep with but not their own bodies.)

My male friend wants to know whether penis size really matters to women and whether length or width is more important.

My answer: I'd say as long as a guy is wider than my first and second fingers and longer than my middle finger, I'm going to still be perfectly happy. Most adult males in the world fit that description, so in essence size isn't an issue for me. In fact, when darling is sort of soft and thus smaller, I am able to give much better head. ;-)

Today's gender perspective question for the fella's then (or rainbow friendly ladies):

What does the perfect set of breasts look like?

My answer: Closer to spheres (as opposed to cones, cylinders, or triangles), but with some weight so that they aren't perfectly spherical. Areolas flat and nipples not very long or tiny. Bonus points if the breast tissue also flushes when she blushes about something. They don't have to move too much when she walks but a slight jiggle, bounce, or sway is very sexy.

Nothing Cheers Me Up

2009-02-08T19:00:00.002-05:00

Nothing cheers me up like putting pictures of my boobies on the internet... OK that's a slight exaggeration...

I wonder

2009-02-07T08:39:00.004-05:00

I heard Beyonce's "If I Were a Boy" and thought she approached the song all wong. Ciara's "Like a Boy" is also misinformed. The (obviously male already) GooGoo Dolls got it right though.

"Don't suppose I'll ever know
What it means to be a man
Something I can't change
I'll live around it" --"Slide"

I have ALWAYS wanted to know what it's like to be the opposite gender. The shift in perspective is one of my constant curiosities. I don't wanna be a man forever. Just for a few days maybe, but it's all hypothetical anyhow. I'd never change my gender. I'm convinced I have it easy except for periods.

I've decided to start a new kind of interview. GPQ's (gender perspective questions)

I'm going to start asking questions that I'd like my male readers to answer for me and you are all welcome to ask me questions about what it's like to be a woman. Other ladies are also welcome to submit questions for the men-folk to answer.

I'll publish all the answers (anonymously if you like).

Today's Question:

What does it feel like when you settle down on top of your lover and look into her eyes?

The answer from the woman's perspective in that situation:

I feel so safe and protected when darling settles down on top of me for a short pre-coital snuggle. I'm overwhelmed by his love for me but at the same time I can sense his strength, his heat, his need. I feel like I've been overpowered but I don't care to fight him off. I don't want to try. Not even playfully. It's kind of like a bear looming over me about to eat me, but instead of fear, I feel peace. I get this thrill I can't really describe. It's something too primal for words. Those moments are the only ones in my entire life that make me want to fulfill a traditional feminine gender role. I'm not saying I start thinking about making babies. I'm just saying I feel like (for a few brief moments of my life) letting him make all the decisions in our life together. I feel like just being passive and giving him what he wants, solely because he wants it. I NEVER feel like that any other time. There's just something about having a man on top of me that makes me feel so girly and submissive.

Miss You

2009-02-04T17:09:00.003-05:00

I miss you, darling.

I miss cuddling in your arms with my head in that comfy spot on your chest. I miss all the comfy spots you have that fit my face perfectly.

I miss the smell of your hair and the feel of burying my face in your skin. I miss every inch of you and the moment we're alone I plan to cover all the parts of you I missed with kisses... especially the belly parts! *evil grin*

I miss the way you hold my face in your hands when you kiss me.

I miss the way you sing all the time for no reason.

I miss soaking through my panties listening to you talk about geeky stuff.

I miss the sleepy way your hands find my breasts first thing in the morning. I miss the way you suddenly get hard when they do. I miss the way I get wet just knowing you're horny.

I miss the way you breathe on my neck so gently when we snuggle. I miss the way you bury your face in my neck when we make love.

Superbowl Weekend

2009-02-01T22:54:00.002-05:00

Last night I finally got to see darling again. It had been almost a month since we'd been in the same city. Things were lovely and sweet and relaxing. I cuddled in his arms and played with my iPod while he watched hockey. He played with it too while I dozed off in his arms and we played some two player games on it when I woke up again. Then we played a card game with his family. I was so elated to have my arms around him again. They'd been empty too long. I was to the point of missing little things I never noticed before. Things like the smell of his t-shirts, or the way he sings all the time, or his cold feet in bed, or the feeling of his hair in my fingers.

When it was time to leave and go home, I couldn't tear myself away from him. I just couldn't help crying. He took my face in his hands and pushed the corners of my mouth into a smile, but it didn't stay long. That lump in my throat was already too big. I drove home sobbing uncontrollably. I'm about to cry again thinking about it.

Debate!

2009-01-30T07:33:00.002-05:00

It's debate time!
I left this comment on a friend's private blog and thought that there are a lot of ways people could feel differently about what I wrote. What do you all think?

"All of life is a phase, some phases just last longer than others. Everything does pass in the end. Nothing is permanent but God and the secret laws by which he controls the universe. Even our understanding of these laws and our translation of them into equations is only a phase."

Is everything really impermanent? Are some things permanent in your opinions? Is God even permanent to you? Let's hear it!

Crush Update

2009-01-28T21:24:00.003-05:00

This guy, after a weird twist of fate was given so many weeks to find himself a new job after all of this. He did, he got hired by my boss's boss. Since he listed my boss, this man's employee and friend, he didn't bother to even call and check the reference and assumed crush guy had never been hired by our workplace before, and dismissed his appearance around the place as him being one of the multitude of volunteers. Now he's still over my head, and still in the same space he was before if he chooses to be ... and of course he chooses to stay. Now he's also on level with my boss. The worm got a promotion out of this!

That's the first update.

Today he comes in and asks me if next time I get a run in my pantyhose I'll give them to him. WHY???!!

To polish his boots, he feels awkward buying them himself. To make the offer less creepy he asks the other girls working with me for the same thing at the same time. My boss says, "Don't you want MY pantyhose?" Crush guy turns red and walks out.

I told my boss, "This is the first time someone's asked me for my old undergarments." It's the truth I swear it is! The boss advises me not to snag my tights any time soon, suggests that his wife stops runs with nailpolish. I knew that trick already.

Later I find out crush guy has been living in his car since my boss hired him in September, maybe longer than that...

Boss suggests that a nice guy needs a nice place to stay. *nudge nudge giggle*

I said crush guy could come home with me for the weekend if darling does too, with a sarcastic grin. Boss makes a threesome joke. I remind the boss that crush guy will have to deal with my GRANDMA! She's a formidable force of nature, kind of like a mother bear who's baby just got poked by a slow kid at the zoo.

Boss suggests I use my pet grizzly for protection from crush guy. I thought he meant darling, apparently he meant grandma.

Boss spends the rest of the day sitting right next to me to avoid any further creepiness from crush guy. Good thing I like my boss. Boss realizes that he's old enough to be my grandfather, and tells me about his 10th anniversary with his wife. They're a very cute couple. They got carbon offsets as a gift from his mother-in-law. How nerdy! *romantic sigh*

Mom Warned Me

2009-01-24T17:35:00.005-05:00

Mom warned me to wear my scarf and gloves... why am I still cold?

The Girl Next-Door

2009-01-24T16:43:00.003-05:00

My neighbor told me he's taken an oath of chastity, I'm assuming this is his nerdy way of pretending he's still a virgin by choice. He's a super nice guy and fun to be around, but I think he's not too smooth with the ladies.

He also told me that when I'm around he suddenly feels like having sex, but he can't quite put his finger on why that's happening. I'm wondering if it's that the last 3 times I saw him I'd just finished getting off before running out to the bus, still soaking through my panties and long underwear...

Now if I was a certain kind of girl I'd totally enjoy seducing him. Instead I think my long term goal is instead to just become his totally awesome sex goddess friend and depolarize his geeky virginal point of view on life. That seems much more rewarding. I'm literally the hot girl next door... FINALLY!

I got another compliment from him this morning too...

He says I'm the only woman he's ever met who "makes a men's XL hoodie look fuckin sexy instead of dumpy".

If he thinks that's hot, I'll bet he loves knee socks and pigtails!

Fellow Blogger Outed and in Pain

2009-01-17T15:42:00.002-05:00

I don't know if you got my e-mail or not. For all I know you've deleted the e-mail address too. If you're still reading here this is what I said.

I'm sorry to hear about all that. Things would go down just about the same way if I got outed to my family too. I understand your pain. I hope your wife doesn't leave you over something like that and that your son will in time forgive you. Your choices are your own and nobody else's. Remember that and stand tall. Having a blog does not make you a pervert or a terrible person. If you believe in hell, remember that only God himself can condemn you there. NOT YOUR SON. It took me years to learn that my grandparents/parents were not God and that all of the human judgments and condemnations in the world could not send me to hell. You might want to remind your son of that if he is too harsh with you.
Love always, Comfy

Let's Play Foodchain

2009-01-17T13:38:00.002-05:00

I'll be your snuggle bunny. Cute, soft, and warm. You can be the predator. You can smell me a mile away with your keen senses and you're HUNGRY. The desire to catch and devour me is insatiable. I'm at first unaware of your presence and then I hear a noise. My ears perk up and my will to live takes over and I sprint off. You spring upon me and I fight for my life. I don't want to be eaten... oh wait this is sex... yes I do want to be eaten.

bundling up for HOLYSHITCOLD!

2009-01-14T07:44:00.010-05:00

Today's temp is 10 with a high fof 17 and a low of 10 again, not counting windchill in any of that. I call it "holyshitcold". It's worse than regular cold. You can see how I bundle up today to prepare. Or read from the bottom up for a strip show. Your pick.Naked and cold
undies and sexy purple thigh high socks
realize it's too cold for that and take the socks off to put tights on
socks back on
off-brand underarmor
putting my bra on
notice that even my sports bras have sexy keyholes
Bra number two cause one doesn't do the job well enough for these babies, cleavage still visible
tank top, cleavage still visible
yoga pants are warmer than jeans,
still need a hoodie, shoes and coat, and scarf, and gloves, and headband, and ummm... what the hell else can I put on?! PS can't show the hoodie cause it's got my school's name on it.

OLD hnt photo

2009-01-10T11:28:00.004-05:00

I found this one buried on my archives and I never used it. For the bum lovers out there who listen to sir mix a lot...

So many thoughts/ odd dreams 2

2009-01-10T09:12:00.002-05:00

The next thing I was wondering about is whether or not darling will find friends. I really want him to be happy, and I know he'd be happier if he had someone to cuddle with. I said to him last night that I needed a snuggle. I asked him what I was supposed to do about that, not really expecting an answer. He said suggested I find a girlfriend. I said, "Ok but what are you gonna do?"

"Cry into my pillow?"

"NOOOO! You were supposed to say you'd get a girlfriend too."

Truth is, part of my brain wants to run right out and find someone to ensure my not being lonely for long. It's self preservation. Nothing to do with replacing him at all. I probably won't do it though. I won't feel right having someone to love and comfort me if he doesn't. I can't be happy and truly enjoy another person if I'm thinking about him being lonely. I don't really want to be replaced either. I just know that he is never as truly happy and content as when he gets ample physical affection. (I don't mean sex here at all. That void could just as easily be filled by a male best friend who gives hugs, but those are rare.) I understand his feelings because mine are the same. I know he'll never really replace me, so I'm confidant in saying I hope he finds someone over there to occupy his time and that the more affectionate and pretty this person is, the better.

Anyway I had a dream that I IM'ed him and he said he couldn't really talk because his date was there. I was all giggly and excited for him. She wanted to talk to me because she didn't believe that any woman would willingly let him see someone else. I convinced her it was ok by me. I asked him the next day how his date went. He said it was great except that she kept trying to give him head while he wanted to watch hockey. I laughed and remembered trying to do the same thing while I was living with him. Apparently they got a situation worked out where he'd sit there with her head in his lap and whenever he'd go to jump up because the team scored, she'd gobble his cock down her throat and make him sit down and moan instead to keep him snuggly in her arms.

So many thoughts/ odd dreams

2009-01-10T08:52:00.002-05:00

My mind is spinning with so many different thoughts this morning. Most of them are about darling. I had a strange dream last night.

He had come home after grad school apparently hadn't been home too much and we hadn't had sex of any kind in two years because I only saw him with family around. We finally got some alone time and he started to get undressed. He pulled off his jeans and sat on the floor with his legs around me. I snuggled up to his knee and hugged it. I started to kiss my way up his leg when I noticed his shirt was off. I went in for a belly kiss instead. I kissed my way down his body but when I got below his belly something didn't seem quite right. I couldn't find his cock. I reached for it and it wasn't there. I looked and instead he had a pussy.
"What's going on here?!" I wailed in confused sadness.

"I thought this was what you wanted. I thought you wanted to be with a woman. I didn't really want to do it for myself, but I thought it would make you love me." He looked very sad.

I hugged his knee and sobbed uncontrollably. "I loved you the way you were. You were perfect and you were mine and that's all I cared about. I never wanted you to destroy what was a part of you. I'm so sorry you didn't think I loved you because I did and I do. I never wanted you to be anything but what you were. Being with a woman wasn't this important to me. Now we can't get married and you can't undo what you did to yourself, to your perfect body. I feel so awful. I can't apologize enough. I feel like I did this to you."

He hugged me close and we cried together. Later he laughed and said, "I should have known the boobies were the important part." We giggled and he suggested we try to make the most of the situation and see if I could still enjoy and learn to love his new body parts.

Eating a man's pussy was pretty awkward but he was having fun so I kept going. He was dry and didn't taste like what I'm used to tasting on myself. He was loving it though. His moans were so deep and sexy, just like I remembered them. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly and it felt so familiar and wonderful. I knew it was eventually going to be ok but that it was going to take a very long time and that I'd probably forgive myself someday.

Why??

2009-01-07T00:25:00.003-05:00

There's blood on my keyboard. A great big ruby smear across the whole thing. I know it's blood. I tasted it to check.

Why?? How did it get there?

The kink in me wants me to leave it there for character. The geek in me wants to clean it off with an alcohol wipe because there's something that might stain on my beautiful macbook.

The geek with OCD wins this round...

The Dangers of Crushing on an Internet Sex Goddess

2009-01-06T23:57:00.004-05:00

... She'll blog about you!!

So I already mentioned the guy at work who had taken a picture of me without my knowing it. Well, his crush has gotten much bigger since then. Actually I don't think I'd just call it a crush anymore. I think he's legitimately in love with me for more than my body. Since the photo incident was resolved by me talking to our boss, I have tried to quietly discourage him but still be friendly and professional. I do want to be friends with him. I just am not interested romantically. Not to mention he's older than my mother.

Well, before I took a leave of absence for family emergencies in November, he'd bought me chocolate twice. I didn't think too much of it, I thought it was for everyone in the office since we all share goodies. Turns out he was upset that everyone else ate it all before I came in the first day and he did it again and put it in my box in the closet. I shared with everyone anyhow.

Yesterday was my first day back and the boss had everyone pitch in to write my letter of recommendation. This guy ended up writing most of it. We all laughed it off and joked that he was obsessing a bit much, gently reminding him that it was darling's job to keep after me.

Today he brought in all the movies he owns, asking me if I wanted to watch any of them, presumably with him. Then he asked me to/guilted me into/made me braid his hair since I was the only girl there. I assure that was uncomfortable. He kept saying things like "I like that tugging on my hair. It's like a massage. MMM. Tug on it again." I was probably red as a beet. And you all know how hard it is to embarass me. We all helped him write a cover letter for another job in town. I was hoping he'd leave here if he took it. He said, "I wouldnt' leave here. All my favorite people are here." He looked at me when he said it.

As for my wonderful readers... I hope you all have the good sense not to crush on me for real. I'm already dating the man of my dreams and I'm not leaving him for anybody.

Slow and Sexy

2009-01-02T21:21:00.000-05:00

Last night darling came over to see me. I was chatting online with Curious Girl and things were starting to get steamy. He came in the door as I’d suggested to her that maybe I should call her while he and I were having sex sometime. She was already in the middle of phone sex with biguy so I didn’t call. I suggested it to darling and he surprisingly was down with it. “Wanna try it now? Oh wait, she’s on the phone, duh!” I said. He went back to my room with me and as we cuddled and talked on the bed, he asked me what I wanted to do. As usual, I replied, “you?”’
“Ok,” he answered in a casual manner.
“OK!!!”
I sat up and started undressing quickly. He made fun of my shirt, which looked like a bra and tank top together but the single stitch holding them together had come apart.
“You’re wearing two bras??”
I had to stop and explain, which distracted me from shedding my clothes. I realized that I couldn’t even remember the last time I let him take my clothes off for me. I’m always in such a hurry to get some.
When he got undressed, I wanted to suck him. He looked so tasty. He practically stuffed the tip of his cock in my mouth but wouldn’t let me take him any further into my throat. He gestured for me to lie down and I pouted a little.
I did it anyway, and he lifted one leg and licked at my pussy. He let out a groan at the taste of me.
“God, you’re soaked!” He kissed me and immediately slid up my body to fuck me.
He slowly inched his way into me. I tried so hard to be quiet with my brother in the house, but it felt so good.
When he finally made it all the way inside me I already felt close to cumming. I got breathless and ready to start screaming all at once. I got lost in his eyes, and felt totally overwhelmed by his love for me. I couldn’t hold him close enough. I wanted to melt into him entirely. I was sad for a moment when he stopped kissing me but then he buried his face in my neck. He nibbled and sucked at my neck, and I came immediately. He sighed contentedly and continued eating my neck as though it were my pussy. He whispered how much he loved me softly, in my ear. I held him closely as he started to writhe on top of me. The way he moved was so slow and sexy that I couldn’t help let out a small moan. I pressed him against my chest and kissed toward his cheek. I nuzzled my face against his. It felt so warm and snuggly. He came slowly. I could feel his cock slowly pumping several mouthfuls of cum into my body. The puling of his cock was as slow and sexy as his writhing.

Happy New Year One Night Early

2008-12-31T00:00:00.000-05:00

I cringe at drawing out one of my least favorite holidays, but I know you all will be too busy and/or drunk to stop by here tomorrow night. I won't be here either. I thought I'd share some New Years moments/thoughts with you and present for your mockery the silliest piece of lingerie ever known to exist (except the elephant man-thong).

I remember one new years with darling here. That was the most memorable New Year's Eve I've ever had to this day. Oddly enough, it was a sweet moment that felt more like acting than living. Like getting kissed under mistletoe at his parents' house, it seemed more like it was a gesture for posterity than any real reflection of the rest of our lives. On one hand, I hate those created memories for their artificial feeling. On the other hand, if I didn't have those moments, I'd have very few good memories since I try to keep my life so even and calm to avoid more drama than I can handle.

In 2008, my goals were to to live more simply and more in a constant state of peace. My life has always been marked by turbulence and I felt ready to be done with all of that. I forgave my abusive father, who I haven't spoken to in 4 years, but decided not to contact him for fear of bringing trouble upon myself. I began to try things that would make me feel like a better person and not lay awake at night for hours re-thinking all my decisions. I've got a tendency to over-analyze and I'm trying to put it to rest. I'm learning how to worry less. I'm allowing myself to be loved and give love in ways I didn't know I could. Now I feel like I'm laying in a river where the love just rushes over me. I'm part of the river too, so now it also rushes through me and out of me.

OK OK I know you all just skipped here without reading so you could see the boobies. Do me a favor and read it later when you're sober.

Now this particular piece of lingerie was purchased in January. Darling specifically mentioned wanting to see me in something and this was exactly what he'd described so, of course I had to buy it when I saw it later in the week. We laughed our butts off when I came out of the bathroom with it on that night. Now you can laugh too.
Now my boobies can breathe a sigh of relief because I can take it off!and no i didn't cheat on the timing!

Reminder Post

2008-12-28T22:26:00.002-05:00

I think it's time for a reminder post!
Remember that you can IM me at comfyanddarling on AIM or comfydildo[dot]unlaidenswallow[at]gmail[dot]com on google talk.
I'm online a great deal of the time and always looking to meet new people. If you're lurking and looking to let me know you enjoy the blog or just want to talk about anything from your sex life/problems to the weather in your town send me a message! I promise I will never badger you, spam you, or reveal your identity. I really am a very nice girl. In fact, I got along with one reader so much I added him on my facebook.

Happy Hanukkah! (It's not Christmas Yet and Don't You Dare Say X-mas!)

2008-12-23T22:40:00.007-05:00

I'm so behind on e-mails lately but I just wanted to thank Andy, CG, GW, and Gabe for their kind thoughts and messages. I'm feeling a lot better about things with my family now and last night I even spent most of the day with darling's family. I saw him tonight too. We actually had the house to ourselves. We were able to have sex without interruption from my mother. It was nice, but I think it just made my hormones worse, instead of better. I didn't do my usual Santa hat and red lingerie bit, but I think darling was happy just the same. Then I fed him cookies and let him watch the hockey game. I was just sitting here thinking that I wanted to flash somebody but there's nobody here suitable. Then I remembered all of you! Happy 3rd Night of Hanukkah!Inside Joke for Darling: Mr. Bear, I think I found your honey! *giggles*

Family Details

2008-12-21T22:23:00.006-05:00

I just had to move my mother into a nursing home. I don't want to go into any more details here, if any of you care to know you can e-mail me or IM me. I have not only my anonymity to protect but also hers. I've been grieving over the decision with the rest of my family and hence had no time for the juicy Christmas sex about which you all are so eagerly hoping to hear.

Darling is preparing to move to another state to go to graduate school. He's leaving 3 days after I am going back to campus. I've got less than 15 days to spend with him, and I'll likely have to spend most of them consoling my family and visiting mom. I'm in a lot of pain over all of this. I can't get laid because family is around, though sex isn't high on my priority list strangely enough.

Last night I was inconsolable for a few hours. When my family finally left and the crying fit subsided, darling came over. We fooled around all silly like, and cuddled. I'm not sure how it got started but I started calling him a bear. Then I poked him and tickled him, because you're supposed to "poke the bear", right? He informed me it's "don't poke the bear." I think he just didn't want tickled. lol!

Please e-mail me, call me, IM me, if you have such contacts. I'm feeling a bit hopeless in this "Season of Hope." If I drank I would be so wasted right about now.

I know, I'm sorry

2008-12-18T16:13:00.003-05:00

Since I suspect many of the comments I've received lately may be spam, I've enabled word verification. If you're a real reader, I'm sorry you have to go through that. I know it's a pain in the you-know-what. I'll turn it off in a while if I find out the root of the problem. I hope that you all love me enough to jump this one little hurdle to leave me some comments.

Two Things I love

2008-12-16T18:58:00.005-05:00

These...

... and the fact that my body looks so much better on camera than it does in person, rather than the other way around.